The End of Love Affair

It’s so sad that my love affair has now officially come to an end.

It was rumored for years that my beloved didn’t want my love or my support.

Sadly, today… it was proven.

Chick-fil-a came out and proudly said they are pro-family, pro-traditional marriage, and has no problem saying their chicken is not the gay.

Read http://www.ajc.com/news/chick-fil-a-president-1480243.html.

I do love my chick-fil-a sandwich. I do love the great customer service, I do love the barbecue and Polynesian sauces, and I do love the great cow mascot commercials, but I will kill that cow dead before I support him again!

My coins will not got to support any one who feels I should be denied basic American civil liberties. 

Jack'd killed the ATL Club Scene?

Atlanta has changed so much in my ten years here… To be honest, Atlanta has changed immensely since I started this blog six years ago. Sadly, I cannot say all of the changes are for the best.

Six years ago, I had to fight to get from one house party to the next. And each party was quality! Great food, plenty of drinks…

Today, house parties are in short supply.

Additionally, Atlanta was a city known for club life. Ten years ago, there was a nightspot for each night of the week.

Saturday belonged to Traxx.

Sunday was a choice between Chaparral and the Lion’s Den.

Monday was the Monday Night Show with the Star’s of the Century.

Tuesday also belonged to Traxx.

Wednesday was the Marq.

Thursday was Bulldawgs.

Fridays was Colors.

Today, as shocking as it is, there is no Saturday nightclub for men of color in the A.

How did it come to this?

The economy has killed the house party scene and social networking has put clubs out of business.

Why spend money on an outfit, entry, and drinks to meet a good jump off when Grindr and jack’d put the men right at your fingertips?

New York Times' Review of Frank Ocean's Channel Orange

It is okay to be gay but is it profitable?

As most readers know, I live for Sunday’s New York Times and yesterday’s issue contained a review of Ocean’s forthcoming album Channel Orange.

I was pleasantly surprised that the review made no mention of his sexuality. That is exactly how it is supposed to be.

Ocean should not be defined by his sexuality but by his artistry.

I don’t  know, however, if many straight hip hop fans will support his work.

As for me and my purse, however, multiple copier will be purchased.

To read the review of Channel Orange, check out: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/08/arts/music/frank-oceans-channel-orange.html?_r=1

Warm it up with...

A Snowy Night…

It is snowing hard and heavy outside. I am curled up on the coach, ipad in hand, a bowl of chili and cheese, watching Housewives of Atlanta. Like many queers, I love this show. I watch it every Sunday, while DVRing Brothers and Sisters. Atlanta, however, is not my favorite Housewives cast. I LOVE New York the most. I hope the new season is still good without Bethany.


I am so disappointed that the Colts are out of the playoffs, but luckily fellow blogger Raw Daddy gave me some photos to ease my pain. Check his blog out at http://rawleatherdaddy.blogspot.com/?zx=ef0276445dd94752.
Now, I am all about the Patriots. Yes, I forever love Atlanta, but I am not a fan of the Falcons. Since the Mick Vick Dog Eating incident and the team’s absolute condemnation of him, I lost my love for this franchise. This year will belong to Tom Brady and the Patriots!


Today, I finally got into Rupaul’s Drag Race. A marathon has been on all day. I am in love with Tyra Sanchez. She is beautifully delicious.

I am getting ready to read Jonathan Franzen’s Freedom. Anyone read this? Any thoughts?

Did you read it, yet?

Each day, like some of you, I read blog after blog. While I often lack the time to post or reply to many, I have decided to post a blog of the week each Thursday. The blog of this week is Immanuel’s Confessions of a Downlow Brother. His most recent blog, located at http://downlowconfessions.blogspot.com/2011/01/tale-of-two-drug-users.html, provided an insight look into a world I have often heard of but never experienced.

Something Beautiful to Start the New Year...

Pablo Neruda's "Ode to the Past"

Time
is divided into two rivers:
one
flows backward, devouring
life already lived;
the other
moves forward with you
exposing
your life.
For a single second
they may be joined.
Now.
This is that moment,
the drop of an instant
that washes away the past.
It is the present.
It is in your hands.
Racing, slipping,
tumbling like a waterfall.
But it is yours.
Help it grow
with love, with firmness
with stone and flight...

It's So Hard to Say Goodbye...

And its hard to say goodbye my love...
Hard to open up that door when ur not sure wat ur going for
But weve got to grow
Weve got to try
though its hard so hard
-Lyrics from "Hard to Say Goodbye," Dreamgirls...


A new year means many things for many people. For some people, it’s about resolutions and promises. For others, it is an opportunity to start a new chapter.

While sitting at church for Watch Night Service, waiting anxiously for Tabernacle Baptist to get the show started, I checked my facebook and saw numerous posts admonishing 2010 in anticipation of 2011. While some people did not have a good 2010,
I can say with no doubt that 2010 was a great year. Yes, I was robbed at gunpoint and yes, I loss some friends and loved ones, but the goals I set and the plans I made came to fruition. I ended the year happy, healthy, and wiser than I would have ever imagined.

I think the year was good for our nation as well.

Universal healthcare became law and Don’t Ask Don’t Tell was repelled. The economy has started to rebound and the job market is slowly improving. Yes, the Republican Reich is in full swing and sadly, I remember the damage the GOP can do (why the rest of America forget is beyond me).

But after all is said, our world is better.

To be honest, I am afraid of the future. Things for me and so many I love are so uncertain. And I face this uncertainty with faith and with hope. I know tomorrow will be better than today, but I am still scared.

Auld Lane Syne...

So what did you do for New Year’s?

I went to watch night service at Tabernacle Baptist Church.
I went to a party at the home of some guy I didn’t really know. The party was great, though. Live band, a basement with three levels, a dinner buffet followed by a breakfast buffet at 2 a.m… the party was hot.

Too bad the crowd wasn’t.

I didn't hang up... I just put you on hold...

Writing has been my passion from the moment I was able to write. I remember buying tablets and filling them with my hard to read script. I remember drawing awful illustrations to go with my own versions of the Dick and Jane reader that I loved so much as a first grader. Writing is as essential to my existence as eating or praying. It took my ten year old niece to remind me of this.

For Christmas, she asked her uncle for a new diary because she filled out the last pages of her old one in November. When I thought about being ten and writing in a little diary, I remembered how important it was for me to write. The entire experience of buying her a new journal made me remember writing and blogging.

The entire experience made me think about why I started this blog in the first place. This blog is a chronicle of my life. Of loves and mishaps, of mistakes and missteps, this blog chronicles my imperfect stumble through life. It has been five years of writing for me as Corey and I realize that this is just the beginning of our long and special relationship.

I have missed you.

I didn’t hang up on you, dear reader…. I just put you on hold. I needed a break because life had taken me in a different direction. I completed my dissertation and my doctorate in August. After my trip to Chicago, I knew I needed to focus only on my dissertation, so that is what I did. After I finished in August, I thought I would go back to writing, but I needed a mental break. I still worked for two different schools, was busy applying for new jobs, and was focused on dating. I was so overwhelmed with life, that I was unable to write for pleasure.

In my time away, I have missed you so. But I am back and will continue to write as long as I have something to say… our time is now.

Mrs. Pewtersmith speaks... on Chicago!

This past weekend, I went to Chicago for the Taste of Chicago and black gay pride. It was an experience to say the least. I had a blast with fiends and family and thought about what to actually write in regards to describing the experience. I decided to use my newly deemed alter-ego (from NC Thomas), Mrs. Pewtersmith.

Mrs. Pewtersmith does not do mornings.
Honey, Mrs. Pewtersmith sleeps. And while some girls are up and at ‘em when the cock crows, at that time, Mrs. Pewtersmith is usually just turning over, dreaming about her cock crowing (um, is that a paradox?).

Now Thirsty is an early bird, and when those blinds opened at 8 and Mrs. Pewtersmith had just gotten in the bed at 8… oh no ma’am. That’s what 5 hour energies and other caffeine rich pills will do to you! Hmph. Mrs. Pewtersmith needs her beauty rest.

Mrs. Pewtersmith does not drive… she gets driven.
Okay, let Mrs. Pewtersmith clarify, honey. I was willing to drive, but no one allowed me to because they said I drive too slowly. Oh well. Some girls are just bred for chauffeuring.


Mrs. Pewtersmith was born for Michigan Avenue.
I loved (window) shopping in Chicago. The magnificent mile was amazing! And they had a huge ZARA. Mrs. Pewtersmith lived! She did not necessarily shop, but she did live…


Mrs. Pewtersmith will NOT have sex in the stairwell.
But someone else will. Hmph.

Mrs. Pewtersmith goes to Casinos to spend money… not win it.
Honey, some of the girls went to Harrah’s Horseshoe to get their bills paid (and cheers to you for your earnings), but Mrs. Pewtersmith goes for entertainment. I go in to play because I have money to play with. Hmph. And yes, I lost my 20 dollars, but hey, I had it to lose. No shade.

Mrs. Pewtersmith loves her friends!
Thanks so much to those old girls who went on the trip. I had a blast. Thanks to Thirsty for the invite, AJ and MJ for company on the road and in the room, Fee for always being the big brother and leader that he is, Fin Head for the laughs (Go to the wall, June. Go to the wall), Dees for the reads, Courtney for the memories, and Thomas for the entire experience. Ah… to be a Pewtersmith indeed comes with privileges.

Oh BET... you did it again...

I know it's late but I am finishing a disseration so cut me a little slack...

So I was a little disappointed in this year’s BET Awards. While it was not as bad as last year’s, it was by no means as good as a few from year’s past.

It was too sweet of Trey Songz to bring his mom onstage with him when he won his award. So… did she have him when she was 12?

Nikki Minaj did a great job. She earned my respect. I still don’t like her. I feel as though she does not deserve her current props, but she really did a great job.





Puff Daddy turned it out! Great performance from a performer so played.


The Prince tribute was a fail and I was sooo looking forward to it. I have been listening to my Prince iphone mix for days. And what I got was this…


(Get yo fat a@@ off the furniture, ho!)


Patti is an icon. Icon’s don’t have to sing. It’s better we remember Patti not singing at the 2010 BET awards…



Oh, and am I the only one, but I thought El Dabarge was dead.

Oguchi Onyewu- It's men like this that make the World Cup worth my time!

Just Another Weekend in the A...

Professor Courtney and Thomas from North Carolina came to town for Thomas’ birthday. Our weekend went a little something like this…

Welcome to ATL… Let’s Have Lunch at Busy Bee Café

Busy Bee is an Atlanta soulfood staple. The fried chicken is legendary (in large part because it is soaked in a buttermilk batter overnight) and I wanted Courtney and Thomas to try it. Thomas loved the food. Courtney opted for healthier fare and ordered a plate of sliced tomatoes.

Friday Night at Blake’s
I am all about diversity and I have no problem partying with the white girls (and the black girls who love them). We hit up Blake’s, saw the awful drag show, and had a few drinks. It was a nice way to welcome guests to ATL.

Watching The Housewives of New York Reunion
Okay, so I totally missed out on this show but the reunion has me hooked. The season replays on Thursday and I plan to DVR each episode. Fee, Thomas, and Courtney were rolling at the sheninigans of the ladies. My favorites are Ramona and Kelly! They are a hoot and a holler!

The Greek Picnic

I skipped out on this bull$hit. I don’t believe in all this adult Greek garbage. I joined a NPHC organization to make a difference in my community, not to brag on letters and talk trash. Atlanta saw 94 degrees. To think I was going to be in a park with over 500 negroes strolling and hopping and screaming out calls is unbelievable. I was home taking a nap when those two were out somewhere crying skee-wee.

Michael’s Hot Birthday Pool Party
My friend Michael had a cute pool party in Lithonia. While Fee and the body girls got into the pool, I stayed in the cut and had a FEW drinks. Well, I got drunk. But it was a great time. I don’t know how much those six Hennessey and Sprites impacted it, but everyone seemed to echo my sentiments.

Saturday Night at Traxx
Okay… so Traxx is an Atlanta Icon! It really, really is… but it was an absolute mistake for us to go. Douglas, Fee, Courtney, Thomas, and I went… on my suggestion, but it was late as he!l. And I know.. I know… Traxx is for the young girls but in the new ATL, there is no other option for Saturday night fun.

Sunday Brunch at Chequers
We were supposed to eat at Pappaduex’s (and their New Orleans seafood brunch is Atlanta’s best) but it was father’s day (i.e. packed) so we (on Courtney’s request) ate at Chequers brunch. The food was mediocre. I was not pleased with the food or Courtney’s “I have not had a decent meal this entire trip” comment. Note when taken to Busy Bee he ordered a plate of got dam9ed tomatoes.

Sunday Night at the White Party

The annual Five Friends for Life White Party has consistently delivered a classy, upscale ATL event. This year’s party, held at downtown hot spot, Opera, was no exception. Great event and great end to a really enjoyable weekend.

I am thankful I am still here...

I was held up at the ATM by my house. I was on the phone with Courtney when two black males (probably in their late teens, early twenties) ran up to my car. One ran to the front, the other to the back. Both had guns. I threw my hands up, and screamed, repeatedly, okay, okay, okay…

Only one of the thieves spoke. He took the cash I withdrew and snatched my phone out of my hand. He also took the phone charger. Then he told me to withdraw more money.

I put the atm card in but it was taking too long so he told me to give him my wallet, which was on the floor. I said, okay, and then he told me to get out of the car.

An avid Oprah watcher, I knew then that if I did that, it was over. YOU NEVER GET OUT OF THE CAR. I told him okay. My wallet, which was in my lap, had fallen to the floor. I bent over to get it, threw the car into drive and punched it. I stayed down and they did not fire. I made it away… alive.

You know your new guy is not a top when...

So Courtney called me Monday to update me on his situation with his lover.
Courtney as you remember is my friend who teaches at a school in North Carolina and who was dating a student who attends the school.

Well, while he and the student still have sex (great, dirty, nasty sex according to his perspective), they broke up and he has recently met a new guy he is every excited about. They met in the barbershop and he had no idea the guy got down. They have had two dates and both ended with some hot scrounging around. Courtney is a top and he is convinced the new guy (light skinned, hot lips, and dreds) is a top as well.

Oh lil Courtney! Let Corey school you!
You know your new guy is not a top when his a$s smells like vanilla.
A top’s ass does not exude any PLEASANT fragrance other than the occasional BAR soap.

You know your new guy is not a top when he washes with a loofa and a bottle of soap.
Most tops (70% of them) use manly smelling bar soaps. While a few will scrub down with sponges, most acquire some pretty funky nuts and need a good old fashioned towel and bar soap for all those hard to reach places.

You know your new guy is not a top when his hands have top coat.
I know a pedi and mani is the thing to do every now and then. But, really… a top coat? That’s taking the metrosexual a little too far for most tops.


You know your new guy is not a top when he calls you daddy in the middle of sex.
I know Twista and Usher have re-popularized the old role play standard, but tops don’t go for daddies. They are the daddies. So if he calls you daddy, then you are the daddy (i.e. TOP) and he’s the mommy. PERIOD.

So I was telling Courtney this, while on the phone, at the ATM.
And then, I was held-up... at gun point… by two FU@KING goons!

Concert Musings... A Beatdown Badu!

Last night I attended the Erykah Badu/Maxwell concert with my ex- Michael (who is on the path to heterosexuality). The concert was great, but Badu looked a hot mess! She wore a black coat, a tattered weave, rolled up yellow sweat pants (which were turned inside out), and a yellow tee-shirt that was a different shade of yellow from the bottoms. What’s the deal? Was she making a statement or just giving a huge “fu(k you” to the crowd?



And Miss Maxwell was great. Is he one of the “girls?” I’m wondering.

A successful Chris...

Last week my old roommate Chris turned 25 and marked four years in Atlanta. Many readers don't remember Chris but he was one of the three reasons I started this blog. With four men living in a house I knew hilarity would ensue and it did. Chris was the baby in the group. A fresh college grad from the deep south Chris came to Atlanta full of bright eyed optimism and I am happy to say he is definitely an ATL success story.

While many are tempted by the big city and bright lights, too often the young fall victim to all that GAyTL has to offer. That did not happen to Chris. He has been with his firm for four years, and at 25, is a CPA. Chris really is an inspiration. I am proud of the lil cutie.

I wonder how Joe and Aaron are doing. I should give them a call. Maybe I should rent a room. With this economy, the extra coney defiantly wouldn't hurt.

Getting my house in order...

It's time for spring cleaning and my house is out of control. Boxes, books, storage containers... I have some serious cleaning to do and I am so angry that I allowed my house and my life to become so cluttered. And as i am attempting to clear space, I realize the root cause of my inability to maintain an uncluttered home.

Growing up poor, I think I have an unconscious need to hold on to everything. I fear that I am one step away from being a hoarder.

I have stacks and stacks of lessons and teaching materials to file away. My study is littered with magazines and comic books. My spare bedrooms are full of boxes and junk that I need to throw away.

I am going to start the sorting tonight. My plan is to empty three boxes per day. The bulk of my trash will be thrown away.

My garage is fairly clean. I think I will use excess space to store boxes there. If only cleaning out the other clutter in my life was this simple...