Perez Hilton deserves another knock upside the head!

Celebrity fall out...

I don't know where I have been but I just saw the picture of College Hill Atlanta's Dorian and just heard the hilarious (yet ridiculously inflammatory) interview with Wendy Williams' pet Charlemange. Check it out at http://www.zshare.net/audio/61708385cea44051/.

Also, I just heard about the Perez Hilton/Will i am uproar. Hilton's response was ROTF funny!

I have attached a copy of the Twitter messages-

perezhilton: oh my god you guys

perezhilton: oh. muh. GUH. i’ve been BRUTALLY SAVAGED. by SAVAGES.

perezhilton: will.i.am is a THUG and he HIT me. in my EYE.

perezhilton: i can see the booboo right now in one of the many mirrors i carry around with me at all times to make sure that the shaved lines and/or highlights in my hair remain subtle and artful and don’t have the effect of making me look like an angry fat woman who scrapbooks to distract herself from her sad life!

iamtherealwill @perezhilton: man, stfu. i just followed you out of the club to see if you’d want some of these Target coupons we got. 20% off smedium t-shirts and innocuous hooks! boom boom pow!

perezhilton: GET AWAY FROM ME WILL.I.AM! YOU’RE A THUG AND YOU DREW BLOOD FROM MY FACE WITH YOUR MANAGER’S HAND!
perezhilton in all my years of doing this, drawing semen dots on people’s faces has never resulted in my catching an eye jammie!

iamtherealwill @perezhilton: that’s not an eye jammie, man. what is this, Wreckx-N-Effect and Q-Tip in ’92? My manager was just swatting a fly away.

fergilicious @iamtherealwill: awwwww snap! u told him maing!

fergilicious @prerezhilton: u got LUMPED UP, ni**a!

perezhilton @fergilicious: …huh?

fergilcious: LMBAO!

iamtherealwill @fergilcious: quiet down, baby. remember what daddy said about being a good white girl.

fergilicious: *roger rabbits*

iamtherealwill @perezhilton: tell ‘em what you called me, man.

perezhilton @iamtherealwill: what?! i called you a faggot. so? i can DO that! CEASELESSLY BAITING PEOPLE WITH BORDERLINE LIBELOUS MATERIAL IS NOT GROUNDS FOR VIOLENCE. IT’S JUST SILLINESS! I’M HARMLESS AND CATTY AND SILLY AND HILARIOUS AND MY SCHTICK NEVER GETS OLD!

iamtherealwill @perezhilton: you’re lucky my man Taboo ain’t jump in that ass. right, Taboo?

taboo …

perezhilton: YOU SHUT UP TOO TABOO OR I’LL DRAW SEMEN DOTS ON YOUR FACE NEXT!

taboo: *does Easter Island statue impression*

iamtherealwill @perezhilton: Yeah son! Black Eyed Peas is too strong to be divided by your fuckery!

apldeap: That’s right fam! Apl de Ap is in the building!

SteveJobs *sends apl de ap cease & desist letter*

apldeap Scratch that! Non-Trademarked Personal Computr de Comp is in the building!

perezhilton someone call the police! i don’t know what else to do or how to get in touch with them! sent from Twitterberry, which if you weren’t too busy overreacting to notice is only available on a PHONE

fergilicious @perezhilton don’t bother! 911 is a JOKE, ni**a!

iamtherealwill @fergilicious seriously, pump the brakes for a second.

fergilicious @iamtherealwill whateva man.

fergilicious *does a b-girl pose*

fergilicious *slathers on shoe polish*

perezhilton @iamtherealwill Back off, Will.I.Am! I have 10 million people who read my site every day and are calling the police right now! especially since I already called the police and they didn’t really seem to care!

perezhilton I’m a music mogul and I support singers so fantastic and powerful you’ve never heard of them! And they’re all gonna be mad and boycott you! And I’m gonna keep hanging around them because I was unpopular in high school and now I exact my revenge via crude photoillustration!

perezhilton I mean, BECAUSE THEY LIKE ME FOR WHO I AM!

perezhilton *weeps gravy*

iamtherealwill @perezhilton that’s cool–mad people got my back too. i work with stars. stars! right, mike?

MJKingofPop whisper

iamtherealwill @MJKingofPop Really, man? That’s the best you can do?

MJKingofPop thank you i love you all god bless you don’t forget to tell your nephews i’m having a slumber party

iamtherealwill Sigh. Anyone else not out there not sufficiently repulsed by my sanctimonious and inane post-racial party anthems to vouch for me? I was on CNN, people! My hologram is the voice of the youth!

hologramwill Fuck yeah I am! I can talk about everything from voting for Obama to fixing the economy to the vagaries of cap-and-trade energy regulation! Except for the second one! And also the third one! Suck it, Rick Sanchez!

officialTila @iamtherealwill I got your back, baby! Talented people like us have to stick together, am I right?

officialTila *tries to turn head, topples over*

iamtherealwill @officialTila sure, why not.

iamdiddy @iamtherealwill I got ya back will! musical visionaries and cultural icons and future leaders gotta stick together too am i right? SELF-IMPORTANT BLOWHARDS WHO CONTRIBUTE NOTHING AT ALL TO THE NATIONAL CONVERSATION BUT CONSISTENTLY OVERSTATE OUR OWN SIGNIFICANCE LET’S GO!!!

WyclefJean @iamtherealwill You know I’m there for yoooooooooou! No one else I know has the stones to cross over and be thoroughly mediocre in so many other genres of music! THE WORLD IS MORE THAN HIP-HOP, PEOPLE!

WyclefJean *trips and crushes Canibus’ career*

officialTila you guys you guys you guys! will.i.am is in trouble! and for once it’s not the kind of trouble that my racquetball-hard fake breasts can float him out of!

MJKingofPop yikes breasts i’m outta here!

fergilicious Who said breasts? This sister got some fine breast lumps and humps her damn self! BLACKETY BLACK Y’ALL!

joshduhamel Jesus, not again.

joshduhamel @iamtherealwill Sorry, man.

joshduhamel *drags Fergie home*

fergilicious *tapdances the entire way*

Sexual Perversions... Part Duex

On this weekend, last year, I posted...

"I am very interested in human perversions. What are your thoughts on these sexual aberrations? What’s the quirkest, freakest, most perverse sexual deviation you’ve heard of?

I honestly heard my greatest perversity today. Obie said a guy he knows likes to give head while the guy he’s with is taking a dump. Ew…"

A year later, I ask again... share your sexual deviations and fetishes...

The Celebrity Tea...

When you have hours in the day to patrol the blogs...


We all know about the dissolvement of the Raymond marriage. Usher and Tamika are divorcing and I say thank God for that! I have loved Usher since we were 14 and I am so glad to have my other husband back in my arms. (P.S. Just because you divorced, girl, don’t you think I am going to join you. I told you not to marry that saggy cow!).


The author of Hiding in Hip-Hop, Terrance Dean has put two new NBA athletes on blast, promising to reveal their idenities in the upcoming weeks. He is accusing two players, who played on separate NBA teams, of getting on, on the down-low. While I give little creed to his claims, we can all dream. If you could have any semi-final b-ball, who do you covet?

Has anyone seen this recent picture of Kelis? I used to be a fan…

This Mess I call Life... (Corey's Random Updates)

Today it starts! I have the debt-diet plan prepared.

I am on a $100 per week budget, with $50 discresionary dollars allocated for weekend emergency use only.

I will update my spending every week. I am doing this because it will provide a visual reference and will force accountability. I am also allowing Parker daily access to my online account so that he can also hold me accountable for my spending. So far, I have spent no money today!

I have a twitter account! Check me out: http://twitter.com/foreveratlanta.

Q made me indulge in one final splurge before the debt diet started. I purchased a bottle of Creed’s Neroli Sauvage. As stated by the creed website, Neroli Sauvage is “a symphony of tangy citrus notes including Orange Flower (Neroli), Bergamot, Petitgrain, Lemon and Grapefruit married to the earthiness of Sandalwood and Ambergris.” The cologne smells great but it simply does not last long enough. When I combine it with a spray of Imperial (a sixth generation Creed fragrance that was originally made for the King of Saudi Arabia), the blend is wonderful and definitely endures.

I picked up a copy of the first two episodes of True Blood from Blockbuster and watched them on the plane when leaving Puerto Rico. I have fallen in love with this show. HBO has created yet another great show. Any other True Blood fans out there?

Kyle: South Beach B@*chAs$edness

I have not been a faithful follower of BET’s College Hill franchise, but this summer have caught a couple of episodes. I just caught last week’s episode (the one where Kyle is contemplating leaving) and I must say I was impressed by this slice of reality television. Clearly Kyle realizes he has issues and has embarrassed himself and his family. It is also clear that his over the top behavior comes from insecurities and a strong dislike for himself. That is sad. Oh well. Like Parker said last night: They need to let that ratched-assed messy queen go!”

I am not sure I spelled “ratched” correct. This is a “new negro” term, I believe.

Personally, I have hated Ms. Kyle from day one. Too much mouth, too much drama, and too food. Yes, it is clear Kyle hates himself. Kyle also needs to grow up and be a man. It’s one thing to be a gay man, but he is still a man and attacking females is never appropriate.


Kyle thinks he is a diva. The diva. Don diva. A hot mess. If Kyle was really a diva, he should take some notes from Milan. She gives you face, body-oddy, and poise too boot.

Hell, he could even take notes from Ms. Brandon. With all of the nasty cattiness she’s been throwing towards Milan, it’s clear she is She’s clearly a diva as well.

Corey Keith and the Debt Diet...

Yesterday Parker and I went running.

His day actually started with spin class. My day started with me frowned up screaming at him to get out of our bedroom so I could go back to sleep. He was trying to get me up to go with him to spin class. I didn’t go. I stayed in the bed.

While running, Parker and I had a long talk about finances. He is excellent with money. He is budget conscious and frugal. I am spend happy and a glutton.

This summer I am attempting to trim the fat from my lifestyle. Unfortunately, this process is becoming a lot more about how and why I spend instead of how much money I make.

The thing that bothers Parker the most about my spending habits is the waste. It’s things like Whole Foods. I love this store. I love the fresh fruit, the fresh flowers, the wine selection, the hot bar, the salad bar, the cake selection… the list goes on. Unfortunately, so does my receipt when I leave the store. Last Thursday I grabbed lunch from Whole Foods… for $17. Yikes. Last Thursday was a debt diet failure day.

Dees is always telling me that I will never save money. He swears that I will never downgrade my lifestyle so that I will save money. He may be right. I hope he is wrong. I am in prayer about the discipline I need. Maybe I should join the military. I hear it helps build the discipline I am so clearly lacking.