This Blog Must Die! (Romeo, you are spared for yet another virgin romp!)

While talking to Joe last night, I came to a realization. This blog must change.

The original intent of the blog was to chronicle the adventure s of four attractive gay men living under one roof. Unfortunately, life has a way of rarely being what you expect. Joe moved out within the first month of the blog being up. Chris left, then came back, and is currently preparing to purchase his first home. As stated in the last blog, Aaron just moved back to California.

All of the aforementioned brings me to the question, what is the point of this blog? e. Think: What is Girlfriends without Toni and what is Sex and the City without Samantha? That becomes my question now: What is this blog without the roommates?

Clearly, the blog must change.

It is my intent to provide meritorious reading for pleasure. It is not my intent to self-centeredly focus on my life and myself. This blog should be bigger than me. This blogosphere is a vast and immense place and I want to brighten my little corner.

Welcome to coreyisamess.blogspot.com. Tell me what you think can be done to make this blog a better place to traverse in the blogosphere. All comments are welcome and appreciated.

Goodbye my friend...

Goodbye my friend

(I know you're gone, you said you're gone but I can still feel you here)

It's not the end

(You gotta keep it strong before the pain turns into fear)

So glad we made it, time will never never ever change it!
-from "Goodbye," by the Spice Girls


Aaron is gone.

This blog began as a chronicle of my life with three roommates: Aaron, a former youth minister cum financial advisor, Chris, an intern, four years my junior, and Joe, my former boyfriend.

Over the course of one year, a lot has transpired. Joe moved out after an argument over a cable bill (and a few other bills) in January. Chris moved back to Alabama after his internship ended and then moved back to Atlanta in August. And now, Aaron has moved back to Los Angeles.

Aaron has been like a brother to me. He is a Pisces and I am a Scorpio. I don’t think we could have had a better roommate relationship. Or at least this was true until Aaron met Kali. (For more on Aaron’s back story, check out the following blog dates: Sept. 4, April 25, and Dec. 29.)

When Aaron started dating Kali (she was such a slutty cat), our relationship went south.

After Aaron’s break-up with Kali, he quit his job and went to visit his mother in California. While there, he reconnected with his old friend, Phil Wilson and was offered a great job with the Black AIDS institute. Needless to say, he took the job, came back to Atlanta to get his stuff, and left for Los Angeles last night. I really hoped we would have more time to reconnect, but time, like so many things in my life, is not on my side.

I am sad. It hurts to lose another friend.

I always assumed Aaron would not only be in my life, but would be in my home. If I needed a new tire, I knew Aaron would take care of it for me. If I forgot to pay the gas bill, I knew Aaron would take care of it for me. If I forgot to assemble some gift bags for work, I knew Aaron would take care of it for me. Whatever my problem, my pain, or my issue, I knew Aaron would be there. But now, he is gone and I don’t really know how my life will be without him.

I have cried about this a lot and I am crying about this now.

Joey, Aaron’s foster son, is spending Thanksgiving with me and Parker and Double Dees and the first family. We, Joey and I, are dealing with Aaron’s move together. There are some long days ahead. And my mess of a life seems a lost less important without Aaron by my side.

I'll shout it from the Smokey Mountain Tops... I'm in love with Parker!

My birthday party was a lot of fun. I hope my guests thought it was a classy event that added something to the social scene of the city I love so dearly. Had it not been for Cousin Thomas and Cousin Mallory, Aaron and Chris, and Parker, the party would not have happened.

As soon as the party ended, the whirlwind that is my life changed courses. For the past three years, I have worked as an organizer for an event called Fire in the Smokies (falltacular.com). The annual event was held this past weekend. Specifically, I was over ice-breakers and workshops.

Now that the event is over, I can honestly say that Fire in the Smokies was an amazing experience. If any reader went or heard about this event, please tell me what you thought.

Held in the smoky mountains of Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, the event afforded me an opportunity to reflect on m life. I came to realize that my life is good, but it is not great. I have a lot of work to do to make my life what I want it be. Finances, stability, and upward mobility are paramount concerns. My physical, mental, and spiritual well-being are also areas for improvement. While all of the aforementioned are topics for future blogs, I decided that I had a more immediate issue to address.

In the mountains, I realized that it was time to confront this situation in my life that is increasing in its gravity. I realized it was time to address where our relationship was headed.

Parker is not what I wanted in my life. I never imagined that I would start a relationship with someone eight years my junior.

But it has been eight months and I realize that my feelings for him have grown immensely. I’m in love and realizing this hurts.

The party was a turning point for me in how I felt for Parker. He introduced himself to numerous strangers as “Corey’s boyfriend” and I thought that was cute. After the party, he lay in my arms and told me he loved me and wanted to be with me. He opened this door to my heart and forced me to accept how I felt.

I took the time I needed in the mountains to reflect on my feelings and realized that if we were going to continue to be together, we needed to commit. Upon returning home, I asked him what he wanted to do about the relationship we have and he said he wanted to be with me and that he wanted to make this work.

I have a lot of apprehension about this and what it entails.

Day by day and step by step, if the lord is willing and the creek don’t rise, we, Parker and me, can make this work.

It's My Party...

The race that is my life is on. From working several events, contending with some surprising roommate news, fighting to make a relationship work, to accepting a second job teaching a couple of college courses, I am in my usual overdrive. With all of the aforementioned said, the biggest occupant of my mind’s time at present is my impending birthday. In ten days I will turn twenty-nine. In all honesty, my upcoming birthday party is actually overshadowing my actual birthday.

I have put a lot of planning into the event with some help from Uncle Mallory and Cousin Thomas. Flowers and balloons will serve as the main decorations and the theme is “Moonlight and Martinis.” Five martinis will spirit guests. Lemondrop, cosmopolition, green apple or caramel apple, corey-tini (pomegranate) and flirtini are on the menu. My caterer is doing something wonderful, or so he swears, and instead on one large birthday cake, I plan to purchase four smaller ones of various flavors. There will be, however, no chocolate. The only chocolate cakes I will eat are on men, not plates.

I am working on a surprise for my guest to show my appreciation. With all of this said, I do however realize that even the best laid plans can unravel at the last minute. I hope the attendance is appropriate. I don’t want too many people, but I do want a cute, festive crowd. I am, by nature, a worrier, because I am, by nature, a perfectionist.

And as I shop, sweat, and pray over this party of mine, one question will not go away: “Why am I having a birthday party for myself?”
Because, Corey, you, like your life, is a mess.

Barbara Walters Special: An interview with Mr. Corey Keith- Atlanta

Barbara: Hello and welcome to today’s special interview with Atlanta’s own- Corey Keith. An avid reader and passionate blogger, it’s been quite awhile since we heard from Mr. Keith. Everyone wants to know what’s been happening in his part of the blogosphere. That begs the question: Where have you been, Corey?
Corey: Working my black ass off for the man, Barbara! You know how it is.

Barbara: (fake rich white woman laughter) Well, Corey, I know how busy you are. So tell me, really, how have you been, Corey?
Corey: I have been better, I have been worse. Alas, it was the best of times… it was the worst of times! Come Ci, Come Ca.. Cum one more time, daddy…

Barbara: Speaking of cumming for daddy, how are things in your relationship with Parker?
Corey: I knew that last answer would provide a great segway into a discussion about Parker. Well, we recently came to a very divergent point in our relationship and I had to simply lay things on the line. What had happened was…

Interruption (Parker): Bitch, you better not blog about -

Corey: Barbara, I am sorry, but I am not at liberty to recount what actually caused our most recent tift, but I can say that all is well that ends well.

Barbara: What’s going on with his roommate, Daisy and her lover Juantavious?
Corey: Well, they broke up, and I for one am glad. I am very happy Juantavious is single now. I would jump his bones in a New York minute.

Barbara: (gasp) Would you really sleep with Jauntavious?
Corey: Honestly, I really would. He is super sexy.

Barbara: And your roommates?
Corey: You know, Barbara that is actually why this blog exists. There was a point in the history of my home when four very different people from four very different places had come together in the common bond of friendship and love and new beginnings. There was Joe, who I had known the longest, and I am happy to say that we are close again. While the Comcast cable bill caused a slight tear in the fabric of our friendship, we talk often now. He actually moved to Orlando with his new lover. Chris is doing great. He is really adjusting to being back in Atlanta. And well Aaron is Aaron and I love him now just as much as ever. Things between he and Kali seem to be going really well.

Barbara: That’s wonderful to hear. So are you going to do a better job of updating your blog?Corey: Barbara, girl, that is the big question, isn’t it? Maybe. These girls on here don’t really read me like that anyway, but I will do a little better. I hope. Hell, you know I’m a mess as it is. I’m a mess as it is.

Leaving No Child Behind- A Story of Life and Love in New York City

After such a tumultuous month, Parker and I decided that we were both in need of a vacation. With Double Dees and Cousin Rodesha along, I knew we would have some sort of a time and, well, we did.

New York, New York. Last year, Cousin Douglas and I went and he said that any relationship that can survive a trip to New York together is a relationship that has staying power.

I love to travel and New York City is my favorite travel destination (with Houston as a close second!). The trip provided Parker and I the magnifying glass our relationship needed and both Double Dees and Rodesha with enough laughs (often at my expense) to last at least until Christmas.

We stayed at the Sheraton, New York on 53rd Street and 7th Avenue. The hotel was a four-star steal, since we only paid $366 each for the flight and the two-night hotel stay.

We hit the shopping areas, walked the squares, and sampled the clubs (yeah, it is true… ATL black gay night life really is the best in the US.)

Here’s an abridged account of the trip:

#1- Parker had never been to New York. We took the subway to SoHo to get some True Religion Jeans. When we got on the train, it was crowded. Why Parker sat away from us, I don’t know, but when we stopped and everyone got off, he stayed on. Luckily I got back on, but by then, the train was off and we were separated. Truly, it is my job to leave no child behind.

#2- I waited for an entire year since being in New York to eat some fried macaroni and cheese from Chelsea’s The Cafeteria. Delicious again, the fried mac and cheese did not disappoint. However, the other food I ordered, did. I was starving and the order was messed up twice. When we left, I just grabbed a slice of pizza (or… um… two).

#3- Fantasia is truly amazing in The Color Purple. The play was really good, but it is Fantasia who makes the show! If you have not seen it and can make it before her Broadway run ends, it is worth your time and effort.

#4- On the way to the airport, after having a great weekend jaunt to New York, our cabbie decided to take a scenic view and make a little extra change off the tourists. I told him we were pressed to catch our flight and he told me to get my ass out of his cab. Yes, in the middle of Central Park, our cabbie kicked us out! Luckily, within minutes, another cab pulled up and took us to the airport. We made our flight with time to spare.

Again, the trip was great, but the nightlife left a lot to be desired. I just knew I’d take New York, but on second thought, you can have it. And I also thought I was going to take a bite out of the big apple, but after just checking my bank statement, I realized the big apple just took a bite out of me.

Damn, what another fine mess you’ve gotten yourself into this time, Corey!

No pot to piss in or window to throw it out of...

Black Gay Pride 2007 has come to pass, and like most things that mark this year, it was forgettable, and yes, in some cases regrettable.

The focus of the weekend really surrounded my roommate, Aaron.

Aaron.
Where in the world do I start? I have not really written more about Aaron lately because of the sensitive nature of our relationship. Things have been strained as he has become more engrossed in his relationship with Kali and I felt that it was best to simply keep my thoughts to myself. Well, this weekend things in that relationship, and in ours, came to a head.

Aaron and Kali fight. Beds have been splinted, eyes dotted, and faces scratched up. The relationship is parasitic. I doubt the genuineness of both parties and I can see fault in both parities. But Kali is not my friend. He rarely speaks and we have never had a true conversation in the six months he and Aaron have been together. He is not my concern. Aaron, however, is.

Kali is here a lot and that also bothers me.

The situation presents quite a dichotomy. I am a renter to Aaron and a friend.

As the homeowner, I don’t feel as though I should intervene. Aaron rents a room in my home and if he wants to keep his lover in his room six days and nights a week, who am I to comment? If he wants to beat the shit out of his houseguest and have his house guest beat the shit out of him, as long as walls are intact, why should I care? Its only when his actions affect me should I get involved, and to be honest, as a homeowner, I am rarely affected. Kali is almost nonexistent. He doesn’t speak and I barely even know he’s here.

But as a friend, I am devastated. To see someone I love in an unhealthy relationship is disturbing to say the least.

An example of this dysfunction- Kali was not here all weekend. It’s gay pride and he vanishes. He doesn’t return calls and he’s gone. All weekend, I watched Aaron pace and worry and fret. He did not leave the house. But suddenly, today, Kali’s back. I figured he would be. He has to get to work some how, and don’t believe the hype… Marta (Atlanta public transit) is not smarter.

Yeah, the whole scenerio sounds a mess to me, too.

I am resolved to stay out of this and I will. Sometimes you have to let go and let people learn for themselves. I am a protector. I am a big brother, and sometimes, deep in the throes of passion, a daddy. I love my friends and, sometimes to my detriment, will go to lengths to make sure they are okay… but not this time.