Wednesday, October 24, 2007

It's My Party...

The race that is my life is on. From working several events, contending with some surprising roommate news, fighting to make a relationship work, to accepting a second job teaching a couple of college courses, I am in my usual overdrive. With all of the aforementioned said, the biggest occupant of my mind’s time at present is my impending birthday. In ten days I will turn twenty-nine. In all honesty, my upcoming birthday party is actually overshadowing my actual birthday.

I have put a lot of planning into the event with some help from Uncle Mallory and Cousin Thomas. Flowers and balloons will serve as the main decorations and the theme is “Moonlight and Martinis.” Five martinis will spirit guests. Lemondrop, cosmopolition, green apple or caramel apple, corey-tini (pomegranate) and flirtini are on the menu. My caterer is doing something wonderful, or so he swears, and instead on one large birthday cake, I plan to purchase four smaller ones of various flavors. There will be, however, no chocolate. The only chocolate cakes I will eat are on men, not plates.

I am working on a surprise for my guest to show my appreciation. With all of this said, I do however realize that even the best laid plans can unravel at the last minute. I hope the attendance is appropriate. I don’t want too many people, but I do want a cute, festive crowd. I am, by nature, a worrier, because I am, by nature, a perfectionist.

And as I shop, sweat, and pray over this party of mine, one question will not go away: “Why am I having a birthday party for myself?”
Because, Corey, you, like your life, is a mess.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Barbara Walters Special: An interview with Mr. Corey Keith- Atlanta

Barbara: Hello and welcome to today’s special interview with Atlanta’s own- Corey Keith. An avid reader and passionate blogger, it’s been quite awhile since we heard from Mr. Keith. Everyone wants to know what’s been happening in his part of the blogosphere. That begs the question: Where have you been, Corey?
Corey: Working my black ass off for the man, Barbara! You know how it is.

Barbara: (fake rich white woman laughter) Well, Corey, I know how busy you are. So tell me, really, how have you been, Corey?
Corey: I have been better, I have been worse. Alas, it was the best of times… it was the worst of times! Come Ci, Come Ca.. Cum one more time, daddy…

Barbara: Speaking of cumming for daddy, how are things in your relationship with Parker?
Corey: I knew that last answer would provide a great segway into a discussion about Parker. Well, we recently came to a very divergent point in our relationship and I had to simply lay things on the line. What had happened was…

Interruption (Parker): Bitch, you better not blog about -

Corey: Barbara, I am sorry, but I am not at liberty to recount what actually caused our most recent tift, but I can say that all is well that ends well.

Barbara: What’s going on with his roommate, Daisy and her lover Juantavious?
Corey: Well, they broke up, and I for one am glad. I am very happy Juantavious is single now. I would jump his bones in a New York minute.

Barbara: (gasp) Would you really sleep with Jauntavious?
Corey: Honestly, I really would. He is super sexy.

Barbara: And your roommates?
Corey: You know, Barbara that is actually why this blog exists. There was a point in the history of my home when four very different people from four very different places had come together in the common bond of friendship and love and new beginnings. There was Joe, who I had known the longest, and I am happy to say that we are close again. While the Comcast cable bill caused a slight tear in the fabric of our friendship, we talk often now. He actually moved to Orlando with his new lover. Chris is doing great. He is really adjusting to being back in Atlanta. And well Aaron is Aaron and I love him now just as much as ever. Things between he and Kali seem to be going really well.

Barbara: That’s wonderful to hear. So are you going to do a better job of updating your blog?Corey: Barbara, girl, that is the big question, isn’t it? Maybe. These girls on here don’t really read me like that anyway, but I will do a little better. I hope. Hell, you know I’m a mess as it is. I’m a mess as it is.