Monday, June 30, 2008

If you just realized what I just realized...

Ouch. Small mistakes can lead to the biggest problems.

Things with Parker have been going really well. I was amazed at the smooth transition we were experiencing. We’ve had relatively few disagreements, and we rarely ever argue… or at least that was our course until this most recent weekend.

Flashback: Darnell is the first guy I ever made love to and the first guy I ever dated. Imagine me- twenty one, pledging a fraternity, and getting the shit whacked out of me. Darnell was my big brother, my support. I used my rock for a little more than leaning. Never mind the fact that he was engaged to the mother of his three children and seeing another guy on the low… Needless to say we made it work for almost a year. In that year, we fell in love, shared a wonderful learning experience, realized we’d be better off as friends, and eventually, moved on.

Flash Forward: Darnell’s job transferred him to Atlanta in March. In that time, I have tried to be super supportive. I realize how hard it is for someone to be placed in a city that is not of their choice and I also realize how hard it is when that city is Atlanta. Darnell is not an introvert. I have tried to work him into my social group and help him meet some quality friends.

Parker has not been super supportive of my supporting Darnell. I am friends with all of my exes and that is something with which Parker does not always agree.

On Friday night, Parker spent the evening with his friends. Great, I thought to myself. I think it is essential that we give each other space and breathing room. He went clubbing, had some drinks, and spent the night with his best friend, Thomas.

I took the evening as a chance to catch up with Darnell, a hot new guy he was dating, and Double Dees (my best friend, who Parker does not really vibe). The four of us went out to eat, came back to our house, and had some Washington Apples (the best drink ever). Double Dees ended up leaving, I fell asleep, and Darnell and his boy were left up on the couch.

Saturday morning, Parker comes home to find shoes and fitted caps, glasses and bottles all over the house. He storms in our bedroom, looks around, slams the door, and heads upstairs. He goes in his room and finds Ollie lying, fully clothed, across his bed and he is livid.

Darnell ended up leaving earlier that morning because an old flame was coming into town. It appears that is why he wanted me to host this small gathering at my house. A shame. It also appears a leopard rarely changes his spots.

Of course, this looked very suspicious to Parker. We’ve argued all weekend. Again, I am thinking this is a very small matter and I am wondering why he’s acting so insecure. Sigh. The mess that is my life just got a little more complicated.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Denying the Chosen History

The Black homosexual is hard pressed to gain audience among his heterosexual brothers; even if he is more talented, he is inhibited by his silence or his admissions. This is what the race has depended on in being able to erase homosexuality from our recorded history. The "chosen" history. But these sacred constructions of silence are futile exercises in denial. We will not go away with our issues of sexuality. We are coming home.
--Essex Hemphill

Across the nation, the month of June is celebrated as gay pride month. In honor of this national celebration, I too sing myself and celebrate myself.

Throughout the course of history, a number of well known black people have embraced their sexuality, bravely and openly. Many of us know about Langston Hughes and Zora Neale Hurston. We proudly recognize the voice they gave to so many of us. But how many of us know that Barbara Jordon, the first southern black female to be elected to the house of representatives was gay or that white house architect Benjamin Banneker was gay? It is rumored that singer and dancer Josephine Baker had numerous same-sex lovers and that Harlem Renaissance poet Countee Cullen left his wife two weeks after marriage for his best man.

Today, numerous black celebrities are rumored to be gay. What impact would it have on the black community if, finally, a celebrity at the height of their career as either a professional athlete or entertainer came out of the closet and proudly embraced their homosexuality? What if Terrell Owens or Alicia Keys came out? What would that do for the black community?

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Um.. They Needed a Beyonce Moment

A Real Time look at Tuesday night’s BET awards-

Lip syncing is a such a cop out… Ms. Usher, we all expected so much more, honey.
We see married life with Tameka and her strap-on agrees with him, huh. He’s gained a little weight. And so has Alicia Keys. Did they both go and eat “My Boo” for dinner?

D.L. Hugely has never been funny. Why is he hosting anything? He’s a washed up, Chris Rock wanna-be who never quite made it. Didn’t BET learn from the debacle that was Damon Wayans?

Mmm… was that a fupa ( I saw on Keisha Cole?

Ne-Yo did excellent, even if he did bite A Phi A.

Umm… why were so many artist missing? Missy, Kobe, Dream…
It’s not like Dream will ever receive another award in his life so he really should have been there to accept his little statuette.

I screamed when I saw en-vogue, with Dawn Robinson! And Miss Maxwell came back, even if no one remembers who he is in the 21st century. Ne-Yo remembers, however, as the camera passed by, and he licked his lips ever so thirstily… hmm…

Some other great blogs about the BET awards… (scroll down- it’s the second blog from the top)

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Just the Little Things...

Cindy McCain is on the cover of the newest issue of Newsweek. While she keeps that mug beat and that pink suit is fierce, she simply lacks the luster and innate class of Michelle.

While having some problems at work, I have been listening to a lot of gospel music. I am open to some song suggestions. I didn’t grow up listening to a lot of gospel, so if anyone out there has some good songs to download (..), let me know. On the CD I made, I have Giants (Donald Lawrence), Declaration (Kirk Franklin), and Not the Time, Not the Place (Marvin Sapp), to just name a few.

On Sunday I went to church and was touched by the message in a profound way. Just recently I started going to Tabernacle Baptist Church in the heart of URBAN Atlanta. The pastor (Dennis Meredith) is dynamic. Unfortunately, he is going through his third round of tests for cancer (it seems like lymphoma from what I have been able to ascertain) and his message focused on living in the present and making the most of the present you have. It was exactly what I needed to hear. The choir’s powerful rendition of Dorinda Clark-Cole’s “Take it Back” was right on time!

The first family of Atlanta had a fagnic on Sunday in Piedmont Park. Everyone was in attendance, and of course, the reads just kept on coming. I will post them on Friday for this week’s Weekly Reader.

Rocket Dog, the meerkat, is dead! If you don’t watch Meerkat Manor on Animal Planet (I am betting you don’t), you probably have no idea what I am talking about. She was run over by a car! The press is calling the incident a hit and run. I feel sorry for the Whisker clan. They just lost their mother and former queen, Flowers. How many losses must one family endure?

Monday, June 23, 2008

The Weekly Reader (June 15-21)

Every day, my friends (deemed the first family of Atlanta) read each other down at various activities and functions. I would like to post, every Friday if possible, the funniest reads of the week.

(Over email- the topic was a review of a potluck held at Fe-Fe and Douglas’s house.)
Gerald: Just messy, I am not a kitchen person. That cake was fat free, anyway.
Fe-Fe: Fat-Free, Taste-Free, Moist Free...
Ken-That cake was Cake-Free!
Fe-Fe: I remember after, we were cleaning up and Douglas said…"We have a whole cake"…..he walked away and I dumped in right in the trash…..and said to myself, "No ma’am we HAD a whole cake!"

(While wrestling….)
Parker (in a sexy daddy voice): You better shut up, lil boy, or I’m going to take you dick, chop it off, sale it to Big Bear Meat Market (discount food store found only in an Atlanta hood), and the next time you see it will be at a first family cookout. (stated in the heat of passionate roughhousing)

Corey: That was entertaining, standing ovation, but please… cut it out.

(While eating at El Azteca Mexican Grill on a Sunday with all the chilren..)
Thirsty: Douglas, come on. I really want to take you out to lunch.
Douglas: Um… I am not going out to eat with you.
Thirsty: But what I am supposed to do for lunch?
Douglas: Um, I don’t know. May I suggest a tomato salad?

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Sexual perversions do exist, my friends...

A good friend of mine, Obie, told me about a friend of his who can only get off when foul smells are present. He’s into scat, piss, and pits.

I am very interested in human perversions. What are your thoughts on these sexual aberrations? What’s the quirkest, freakest, most perverse sexual deviation you’ve heard of?

I honestly heard my greatest perversity today. Obie said the same guy likes to give head while the guy he’s with is taking a dump. Ew… Please do share…

Monday, June 16, 2008

Parker's love is one in a million...

(Stay Down) We're almost to the very best part.
(Stay Down) You'll always be the pride of my heart.
(Stay Down) We too can past the test
(Stay Down) Yeah we got a lot of work.
(Stay Down) I know it ain't been the best but it certainly ain't been the worst.

-Lyrics from "Stay Down" by Mary J. Blige

Last night was the first night Parker and I shared as lovers in OUR home.

A lot of thought went into making the night as special as possible. I can say that on numerous occasions (as this blog attests to) my best laid plans can lead to calamity and comedy of errors, but tonight was everything I hoped it to be.

I cooked tomato/basil chicken, fried corn, bruschetta pasta, and green beans (with smoked turkey necks)... We had resiling and slices of a vanilla lemon torte from Chocolate and Pink (an Atlanta desert bar).

I made a CD of some special love songs (an acapella version of Janet's "Love Will Never Do" and Pretty Ricky's "Make You Wet"- [download it]" and we enjoyed the pleasure of each other's company. We shared a bath, a bed, and... well, you get the point.

Throughout the past week, I received numerous text messages about the decision we have made to share our lives and our home. To say that I am worried about what our future holds would be true. To say that I am confident that we can make this situation and this relationship work, however, is truer.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Just the little things…

I wasted 9.99 on Lil Wayne’s new CD. I am confused by what makes this self-professed goblin so popular. Beats can only carry a track so far. A sampled lyric from his hot single Milli states, “Illie and its all off G piece and a P..G walk by beep beep, Wit a freak, skeet, Hawk Out, big feet on a jeep..”

What the fuck is he talking about… and to think he brags about not going into the studio with pre-written lyrics. Most fifth-graders could come up with this end rhyme… not to mention Missy Elliot came up with it in 1996.

Has anyone else noticed that many of Lil Wayne’s lyrics are homoerotic. “He’s so sweet I wanna lick the wrapper…” and then he coyly states, “no homo.” No homo, indeed, Miss Wayne.. no homo, indeed.

The R. Kelley verdict is coming soon. I bet he’ll get a little more than a few golden showers when he’s holed up in the pen.

H&M finally came to Atlanta! I can only hope the fashions they bring are as affordable and trendy as the H&M on 5th Avenue in NYC. Hundreds of people camped out in front of the store overnight in hopes of receiving one of the 500 gift cards and tee shirts the store is offering as a promotion. This just goes to show what we are willing to do for a deal in lieu of such harsh economic times.

I am still hungry, but not as hungry as I was when I first started my “personal fitness objective.” I have lost 10 pounds. My goal is to lose 20 pounds before August 1. I am eating half portions, rethinking every eating choice, and working out a minimum of four days per week. I am only allowing myself to be weighed once every two weeks.

Usher’s Here I Stand sold well, despite my fears of lost fans and a poor quality release. I gave him one more chance and purchased the album. While I was starting to rethink my theories surrounding Usher’s sexuality, I have new ammo to prove that he’s one of the “chilren” with track 4, trading places…
Usher states: “And whisper in my ear I bet you really wanna do me/ now take me home and get up in my pants/Pour me up a shot and force me to the bed/ I’m always on the top tonight I’m on the bottom/ Coz we trading places/ when I cant take no more, tell me you aint stopping/ coz we trading places/ Now put it on me baby till I say Ooowe/ And tell to shut up before the neighbours hear me”

Trading places indeed, Miss Usher. I wonder if Lil Wayne and Baby Birdman trade places… Hmm…

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Parker is moving in...

After the whirlwind month Parker experienced, we’ve decided he should move in earlier than planned.

We decided that living together would be a good idea last year when his lease was up in July. However, he was given the option to be let out early and he took the option. Parker is moving in within the next two weeks.

Thoughts, comments, and advice… um… needed.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Parker was mugged at gun point...

One week after Parker survived the accidental hit and run of the poor Mexican man, he was held up at gun-point.

After running around his campus, his arms full, he was approached by a random man, who pulled a gun out and told him to give him his wallet.

Parker did as he was told and gave the man his ATM pin.

The man stole over $600 before the card was cancelled.

One week later, Parker went to Miami.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Parker ran over a Mexican...

Parker hit a Mexican immigrant.
Whether or not the man was legal is not known nor is it relevant.

Parker drove to the flea market to purchase a gift for his mother. I don’t think Parker would like me calling him cheap, but he is definatly thrifty with his coins. While driving, Parker was greeted by a group of Mexican men running towards his car. He takes off, but not before one of the men jumps in front of his car. He drives to the nearest gas station, calls the police and waits.

The policeman arrives and he is, believe it or not, Mexican.

The officer takes Parker back to the flea market where they see the men huddled around the victim who is doubled over in pain. He greets the officer in Spanish and tears, screaming the negro hit him, the negro hit him. The man, however, did not file charges.

Poor Parker. He came home devastated. He was very shaken by the event, but relieved no charges were filed.

Well, while charges were not filed, an insurance claim was. Parker was notified two weeks later that the man was suing.

The entire incident may have been a scam from the very beginning. Unfortunately for Parker, this was just the beginning of a really crappy month!
To be updated soon...