Getting my house in order...

It's time for spring cleaning and my house is out of control. Boxes, books, storage containers... I have some serious cleaning to do and I am so angry that I allowed my house and my life to become so cluttered. And as i am attempting to clear space, I realize the root cause of my inability to maintain an uncluttered home.

Growing up poor, I think I have an unconscious need to hold on to everything. I fear that I am one step away from being a hoarder.

I have stacks and stacks of lessons and teaching materials to file away. My study is littered with magazines and comic books. My spare bedrooms are full of boxes and junk that I need to throw away.

I am going to start the sorting tonight. My plan is to empty three boxes per day. The bulk of my trash will be thrown away.

My garage is fairly clean. I think I will use excess space to store boxes there. If only cleaning out the other clutter in my life was this simple...

The rain is ashes...

While waiting on a lunch date, I decided to check my email and read about the passing of a friend, Dean Chambers.

The email read:
HEY GUYS I HOPE ALL IS WELL. JUST WANNA TOUCH BASE WITH YOU TO SAY ANOTHER FRIEND HAS BEEN CALLED HOME. I WASNT THINKING BOUT TELLING YOU GUYS CAUSE SO MUCH HAS BEEN GOING ON. SOME OF YOU KNOW HIM HIS NAME IS DEAN CHAMBERS. HE WAS CALLED HOME ON SUNDAY MOTHERS DAY IN L. A. DEAN MOVED BACK TO LA SOMETIME LAST YEAR I BELIEVE. HE ALSO HELPED OUT WITH THE FALLTACULAR YOU GUYS HAVE.

THE FUNERAL WILL BE NEXT TUES 5/18 2PM

Then, while patrolling the blogs, I read about the suicide of another friend, Jameel Smith.
Read Keith’s touching words at http://www.keithdjones.net.

My heart is broken for both losses. I have no words that can adequately express my shock and empathy for those who are hurting now but the poem Hum by Ann Lauterbach gives voice to the multitude of emotions I feel tonight.

Hum
by Ann Lauterbach


The days are beautiful
The days are beautiful.

I know what days are.
The other is weather.

I know what weather is.
The days are beautiful.

Things are incidental.
Someone is weeping.

I weep for the incidental.
The days are beautiful.

Where is tomorrow?
Everyone will weep.

Tomorrow was yesterday.
The days are beautiful.

Tomorrow was yesterday.
Today is weather.

The sound of the weather
Is everyone weeping.

Everyone is incidental.
Everyone weeps.

The tears of today
Will put out tomorrow.

The rain is ashes.
The days are beautiful.

The rain falls down.
The sound is falling.

The sky is a cloud.
The days are beautiful.

The sky is dust.
The weather is yesterday.

The weather is yesterday.
The sound is weeping.

What is this dust?
The weather is nothing.

The days are beautiful.
The towers are yesterday.

The towers are incidental.
What are these ashes?

Here is the hate
That does not travel.

Here is the robe
That smells of the night

Here are the words
Retired to their books

Here are the stones
Loosed from their settings

Here is the bridge
Over the water

Here is the place
Where the sun came up

Here is a season
Dry in the fireplace.

Here are the ashes.
The days are beautiful.

About Bow Wow's Dildo...

After reading about Bow Wow and Kat Stacks on Mediatakeout, I went to http://katstacks.com and read her take on the dildo she used to please Bow Wow's booty:


The 3rd time I saw him he had just came back from club Liv at the Fontainebleau in Miami drunk & texted me to come over sense I only live like 5 mins away in Williams Island building 6000. I had brought my own Hennessy bottle & I sat down & drank as he was on Twitter on his Apple Mac Book talking about Youtube ( funny how he introduced me to Youtube LOL Bet he regrets that ) after like an hour of me drinking & talking shit he told me to come in his room so I followed, he sat on the black leather chair & I pulled his pants down & started sucking him up , as soon as it got hard again I shoved it all down my throat & slid it up & down without pulling it out , he was squeezing my hair hard & untied my silver top from the back & started playing with my breasts. Minutes later he took off his shirt & got up & laid on the floor, it was so funny ’cause my ankle bracelet started beeping in red so I had to get up & put it to charge which made his dick soft. I took off all my clothes & started sucking him off again , he told me to come up closer & started finger popping me & then switched to my booty hole , he kept fingering me it felt weird but I kept my mouth shut. While I was licking on his balls he told me to go get this vibrator under the red hat on his long counter table so I did & it was purple & egg shaped , I was expecting for him to ask me to use to in front of him but instead he said to put it back on the floor & keep giving him head , after a while he told me to pick it back up & turn it on & rub the egg shaped vibrator against his ass … I couldn’t believe what he was asking me but I didn’t complain cause as a stripper I’ve had alot of customers ask me to this in the Champagne Rooms. He closed his eyes & started moaning “keep sucking it” he ordered as he pushed my head down to his dick, I started licking his sides making symbols with my toungue ” Put it in” so I stuck it half way which made his legs shake & he pushed my head down even deeper as his dick choked me I almost gagged , then he got up with the vibrator still up his ass & told me to turn around so I did & he spread my legs apart & put it in hard & deep & started beating it hard for like 10 mins until he came. He was so drunk he didn’t do his usual routine to go shower, instead he laid on the floor releaved breathing hard with the vibrator still inside so I took advanage & laid on his chest since he always treated me as “Wham Bam thank you Mam!” I started asking him questions about life and I asked him if he was gay or if it was just a fetish & he said he was confused & didn’t know how to answer the question. So we just laid on the floor until we passed out.

This is the reason why Bow Wow called me & had a long conversation with me about not exposing him.

Parker needs a job...

Parker graduates in two weeks and has not found a job.

While we are both very aware of the economic climate, the reality of joblessness after graduation is still daunting.

Parker did everything by the business major textbook. He is graduating with a 4.0 from a reputable business school. He’s worked for two years in sales and interned for a year and a half in marketing. He joined several active and acclaimed business organizations and remained close to his professors.

When I graduated, students with less credentials had jobs being thrown at them. It is sad how the reality of our economy hits hard.

It is also hard to comfort him when he’s so dismayed. It is doubly hard to comfort him because I would feel even worse if the shoe was on the other foot.

Goodbye, Darian... I will miss you...

One of the main impediments to my blogging has been the lack of convenient time. An attempt to remedy this has been my recent purchase of an iPad. I am hoping this device will allow me to not only update more frequently but it will also help me keep up with my fellow bloggers.

And speaking of favorite bloggers, Living Out Loud with Darian posted his final blog entry today. I cannot believe Atlanta’s most relevant blogger has decided to end his highly read blog. Nationally, renowned, Darian’s blog updated readers on not only Atlanta issues, but national issues that relate to the lifestyle we lead. Darian’s blog was consistently updated, always timely, and wonderfully written. I will miss it dearly.

And with that, I have a few questions…

Okay, I know I am late with this, but Emilio was robbed on Project Runway. What the f*ck was Heidi, Nina, and Michael Kors thinking?

Has anyone else in this blog world as obsessed with Lost as me? I have followed this show religiously for six years. I cannot believe it is slowly coming to an end.

Does anyone watch Glee? Does anyone else think the quality on the show has dropped dramatically?

Oh my God, I live for Wendall Lissimore! Thanks to LOL with Darian for introducing Model City and Lissimore to me.

Um… does anyone else watch porn? Um… Snowballerz 4 is off the chain.