Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I don't know what this means...


What a wonderful world.

Flowers make any room more comfortable, more like home.

There is a picture on the mantel of Parker and me. I love his smile but I hate his eyebrows. I want him to get them arched. But they aren’t my eyebrows. I have never had my eyebrows arched. I love my eyebrows. They are naturally well kept.

President Obama wears make-up to hide his blemishes and his age. Why can’t I?

Parker and I are doing so well. Every day I look forward to coming home and seeing him. I anticipate his kiss, I anticipate his arms.

I wonder how many men wear make-up that I know.

Tonight feels icy. My hands and feet are cold. I am hungry. I ate an apple for an evening snack. It’s gone already. I know it’s gone because I flushed it.

My grandmother, the center of my family, the rock of my life, may have cancer again. I don’t feel confident about this. I don’t feel confident about this at all.

Tonight feels icy. Flowers make any room more comfortable but tonight, I am disconcerted. I am not comfortable in this room and I am writing this. My hands are cold and I am hungry and I am worried. I am very worried.

What a wonderful world. There is a painting above the mantel my ex-Michael gave to me of trees and a sweeping landscape. I love landscape paintings. I love trees. They are symbolic. I feel symbolic. I see the symbolism in things. I see the underlying meanings in things. I always have. In most things I always have. I don’t see the symbolism in my grandmother having cancer. I don’t see the symbolism in cancer. I don’t see the symbolism in this post. I see the symbolism in trees. I love trees.

9 comments:

Jay LuV said...

keep your chin up kiddo. remember pray more... worry less.

The Antonym said...

Just being able to see your words fill the screen as you type...hopefully allows you to sort your thoughts. It reads like poetry. I hope things just get brighter for you man.

Crazy Diamond said...

Really nice piece, and I'm so glad to hear about your anticipation of Parker, and your understanding that his eyebrows are his :)

Life hurts. Life is absurd. One of man's most primal, subconcious desires from the world is to live or be healthy forever. The world has shown us over and over again that this will never happen. We must learn to navigate and find peace in that conflict.

What happens when a rock need a rock? My heart goes out to you...

Losojosnuevos said...

I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother. At least you got to know yours; mine passed away when my mother was a child. Enjoy her while she's here. You're in my prayers.

Mr. Jones said...

This was a great piece, Corey.

Kyon Saucier said...

And in the end all will be well luv.

bLaQ~n~MiLD said...

LoL@ you wanting him to arch his eyebrows. Boooooooy! LoL.

~Damnit!

Anonymous said...

The prayers of the righteous....i wont go there... When people are diagnosed with cancer or anything else you have pray a positive prayer.. No matter what the outcome remember its God's will. With my mother I always pray to let "God's Will be done"........Now shout and call me on Tuesday

deonte' k said...

Hope all turns out well this ur grandma... I will pray for her. And I'm glad u and Parker are doing fine! ;)