Today, while running at the track, I realized something horrible. I have changed and it has not been for the better.
The word many of my college classmates would have used to describe me- ambitious. The word many of my college friends would have used to describe me- passionate. The word that came to mind today while sitting in church yesterday- directionless.
I graduated from high school third in my class, STAR student (designation for the student with the highest SAT/ACT in a graduating class), graduated from college with a 3.82 (4.0 in my major) and was named an inaugural Gates scholar and earned the highest GPA of any minority student in my graduating class in my perspective college. I earned my master’s degree in a year, completed a specialist degree in a year and a half (while working full time), was named teacher of the year, STAR teacher (designation for the teacher who had the most influence on the STAR student- see reference above- in a graduating class) and today I realize that I have absolutely no idea about where my career is headed.
I once had focus… real focus. I once had a clear plan for my life. I wanted to be a teacher and then become an administrator. I thought the sky was the limit.
What makes this directionless conundrum even more problematic is that the sky is still the limit. I have the degrees, the experience, the accolades and the certification to do a number of things. What I lack, however, is the plan... the direction... to be honest... the ambition.
I have some decisions to make.
8 comments:
Wow Corey, it is so weird that you blogged about this. I feel the exact same way. I feel like I'm a cog in a wheel. I'm just going through the motions, and time is definitely not waiting. I will pray that you find direction. You will get your mojo back, I promise you! Keep your head up brother...
Welcome to your 20s. And I find this is an especially common feeling among my friends who are teachers. But it's not exclusive to them, because I struggle with the same worries.
Take some comfort in knowing that one day your purpose will be abundantly clear, and until then, at least you have the opportunity to save young lives and have an impact that you can't begin to measure.
So lets make a plan! That's a minor thing. The harder part is sticking to the plan! Now get to it!
Man, you hit it on the head with this post. Good luck with planning and executing!
Man, if I may, it just sounds to me like you got tired. I am sure you were exhausted after doing all of that.
The best thing, though, is that you realize all that you have in your arsenal. When you are ready to put it all together and advance yourself you will. You have more than already proven that you are capable.
Now that you have rested and relaxed its time to refocus and re-energize. I have been wondering why you have not applied for an admin position yet. I figured you had a plan to teach 10 years and then move up i dont know. Its time. We all need a plan. Your not the only one who feels this way at times.
FE
I agree with Fuzzy. The minor part is making a plan. The major part is STICKING with it. You just need to take time to figure out exactly what COREY wants and not what sounds good and what others want. Beings that I know you the most, I believe once u learn to balance ur priorities and with the help and encouragement from your friends you'll be successful in whatever you chose.
PR
spring/summer 2009 is the time to make plans and stick to it....good luck
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