Today my friend Thomas from North Carolina was in town and after church and brunch, we were headed home and became caught up in a very combative discussion. I really thought about this topic and I already know that what I am going to share is not a commonly held belief and that many readers will not agree but I am going to say this…
Sometimes, when it comes to love, you really do have to settle!
So many single people emphasize that they will not settle for less than their desired expectations. Whether its education, career, or appearance, many of my single friends simply will not accept love from anything less than the ideal.
I believe that the ideal is simply that… ideal. It does not exist in reality.
When I think about love and the loves that matter the most, they were not choices that I made or great catches that I sought out. I did not pick my mother, my sister, or many of my friends. The loves that came to me were happenstance. And I do not love my mother less for not having a college degree or my friends less for not having ideal careers. Consequently, I would not love a lover any less for a deficiency in either of the above areas.
Some key points from the conversation:
If love calls, answer.
It may not be love at first sight, but it may be the love that is right for you. And finally, who are any of us to question the gifts God may place in our lives?
So what are your thoughts on this? If you have a minute, go ahead and let me have it…
12 comments:
I want to say that I do agree with you too. I think sometimes even when u can not be with the one you love, as they say, LOVE THE ONE YOU ARE WITH. learn to appreciate what you have and stop always looking to see how the joneses keep that grass so green cause maybe its only green from where you are standing. People just have a bad habit of always wanting more more more more more.
I think it is Buddhism that speaks about selfishness being the cause of human suffering and i believe it. They are not happy until love is even their way. Wont settle until they get what THEY want...always ME ME ME ME and now how WE WE WE WE can appreciate each other, love and grow together...cause that's reality!
What it do Corey Keith? I agree with you to a certain degree, I have always thought that we often place to many emphasis on the perfect lover or life partner. I agree we must settle for a tad bit less in some cases.
Of course we all have a list of criteria our lovers/life partners must meet; but so often we expect to much. Now don't get me wrong education, income and background matters, but how important is all of that if the person truly loves and repects us?
I know I have missed out on love simply because I had set my expectations so high, when in fact I'm nowhere near perfect. Today I try and except the shortcomings and move on, there are good people out there looking for us, lets give them the opportunity to meet us. Happy New Year!
Corey, I agree with you totally. Especially with all of these shifty ass queens out here? You better grab the first thing that has at least 5 out of 10 of your "requirements". You can work on the rest. Shit! lol...
"I believe that the ideal is simply that… ideal."
I TOTALLY agree with you. People hold others to unrealistic expectations and then wonder why their single..SMH..Great Post!
I agree with you,we are not going to find that perfect person. We all have our flaws but as you stated earlier,that doesn't diminish the love we have for relatives and close friends. Too many people have the opinion that they won't settle for anything less and then get left being lonely or disappointed by those who they put on a pedestal.
I agree, however I also feel that when the non ideal person presents him or herself in your life, your ideals go out of the window and you accept that love. So maybe your friends have just not met that person yet.
Finding a mate is like finding a house, they will never have EVERYTHING that you preference.
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you are right! thats why they all single... they all have too many requirements that they expect ppl to fill. i dont think ppl realise how different others lives are to their and as such their paths are so different.
if ppl would stop being so judgemental they would be better and happier... the thing is all i require is for you to make me smile and i will welcome you in my life! i dont care what you have nor what you offer... im not going to support you... but i shant turn my back on you either... because we all want to be happy and once you can enhance the happiness in my life... then welcome...
''joey tribbiani voice'' how you doing... :-))
You know I'd never looked at it that way... Food for thought!
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