A constant point of contention for Parker and I has been Aristotle, the cat.
Um, a word about this cat of mine. I never wanted a cat. I hate animals. Aristotle was a gift, a read, from my ex- Tim.
Aristotle fits his name. He's a slight snide.
He glides around the house like he owns it.
He is prone to bursts of cuteness when he wants something (food that I am eating, usually) and he is able to give face on the drop of a dime.
But oh, cats, by nature, can be quite fickle and persnickety. Whenever I feel and urge towards kindness and go to pet this pussy, he runs. Whenever I am lounging, with no inclination towards stroking my pussy, he jumps on me and purrs for affection. I tired of his emotional rollercoaster years ago (it's been three years if you want to know).
Parker, however, adores this cat. He talks to him, pets him, and even puts the cat in the bed (my side of the bed, if you must know). It infuriates me. Now, Aristotle basically lives in Parker's lap. Disgusting.
I, however, have a little plan for Ms. Aristotle. Since he is so enamored with Parker, why not let Parker feed him or empty his litter box. Hmmph. Let's see Parker show some monetary affection towards this finicky feline. Ms. Aristotle will make it a month, at best, before he's crawling around the house looking quite Aushwitzy (no shade, holocaust survivors. Some of my best friends are jewish…)
14 comments:
Poor Aristotle he does not know what coming down the pike for him.
I never could get into cats myself personally.
LMAO. You and your stories yo.
I remember when I was younger (around kindergarden) I got my first lil kat. I named her 'KC' (Kitty Cat...I was 4. Da fuck you expect!) Anyway in my teenage years I was always testing that concept of 'Cats always land on their feet'. I used to throw, drop and everything inbetween that cat down the steps and around. LoL. My cat was scared of me but there was definitely love. When I went away to kollege, she was so distraught that she began pissing all over everything around the krib. Momz got rid of her. I love how shady Cats are tho. Dogs are too needy to me. Cats just perch!
~Damnit!
Cats *do* own your house. LOL. That's just how they are. I have a sign in my house that says "Cats are masters. The humans are my servants". I saw it in the pet store and couldn't resist.
LOL, my roommate has a cat, and she is the same way. She wants attention when she wants it. And it's so funny because I never did like cats, until I met his. :)
Lord, I love cats when they are kittens. They are so playful and can't jump on counters yet. But when they can. I hate them. They are too sneaky for me and some are really mean. LOL.
Yea - you told this story. This was hilarious!
I can't do pets for some reason i've tried it but just not for me good luck with Aristotle.
Corey this is so well written! The pace, the diction, and the style is amazing. I mean it.
As far as the cat goes, don't be jealous that Parker gets attention from Aristotle and you don't. You're being vindictive. You know that Parker will not feed the cat, or change his litter box.
Ken- Imma try not to be too cruel to that old girl... But like Jay (the last comment), you already know...
Blaq- what a sweet story. I too tested the cat on their feet theory...
Dusty- Glad to know their are other "cat couples" out there...
Deonte- I agree that Kitties can grow on you, but trust me... its all cat manipulation...
bps- Some cats are really mean, but luckily Aristotle is more calculated than mean... He's actually very personable.
Darius- thanks....
4gotten1- If I did not have to do Ms. Aristotle, I would not do pets either... Unless the pet was D-place, cause that lion is hot...
Jay- LOL... you know like I know what the poor kitty is in for..
Oooh I can't take cats, they throw so much shade. Aristotle is giving me face though! Cute...
when shawn got his previous dog TJ, he humped and jumped about releasing bunches of dog hair and peeing all over the place. To top it all off, he had a high screeched bark! I was just annoyed! He loved that dog, I just tolerated him. Chili, he new Dog is soooo cute! Let her start actin up, I'll beat dat Bytch wit a bat! lol somewhat playing!... somewhat...
I've gone from smiling in the previous post to laughing out loud.
I have a cat of my own, a cat I didn't ask for either. I also have a dog, a big dog. Both are female. Two females wanting to be queen of the house, well, both cat and dog get along like a cat and dog if you know what I mean.
My ex live in wanted a cat. I never did, but I got him one. When things didn't work out, he took the cat with him (fine by me). A friend of ours knew that he took the cat and thought it would be a grander idea to get me a new kitty (UGH!)So now I have a cat, and I know all perils of having one. Good thing Parker likes Aristotle. Just imagine what it would be like if he didn't
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