Sunday, October 18, 2009

All good things come to an end... I'm through with it...


I am single. It’s been four months of working it out to realize that it cannot be fixed. I really don’t have much to say other than this is not my decision even though it’s probably my fault. Life is hard and relationships are too. It’s hard to balance work and home and school and love. It’s a war and I lost. And not only did I lose the relationship battle, I’ve lost the battle with the bulge. I have been eating myself into oblivion. The worse I feel, the more I eat. Corey is such a mess. I don’t think I have ever been more of one.

There isn’t anything else to say, really. I am at home, listening to Stevie.

“Over time, I've building my castle of love
Just for two, though you never knew you were my reason
I've gone much too far for you now to say
That I've got to throw my castle away

Over dreams, I have picked out a perfect come true
Though you never knew it was of you I've been dreaming
The sandman has come from too far away
For you to say come back some other day

And though you don't believe that they do
They do come true
For did my dreams
Come true when I looked at you
And maybe too, if you would believe
You too might be
Overjoyed, over loved, over me

Over hearts, I have painfully turned every stone
Just to find, I had found what I've searched to discover
I've come much too far for me now to find
The love that I've sought can never be mine

And though you don't believe that they do
They do come true
For did my dreams
Come true when I looked at you
And maybe too, if you would believe
You too might be
Overjoyed, over loved, over me

And though the odds say improbable
What do they know
For in romance
All true love needs is a chance
And maybe with a chance you will find
You too like I
Overjoyed, over loved, over you, over you”

19 comments:

Dusty Boot said...

:(

life said...

sorry to hear that....stay encourage

.::RoCkii*BoXxE::. said...

Well its healthy to have your moment of sloth. Just dont over do it babe...but take your time so you can get out all of the emotions you are feeling.

Crazy Diamond said...

I'm sorry to hear about that...Relationships are serious effort and you certainly gave it a wonderful effort. I don't believe you can lose with love — just appreciate the great times you experienced, and be grateful you no longer have to devote so much energy to a losing battle. I know it's hard to say good bye, and you will certainly miss him; but from everything I've read, you have the tools to lead a happy, healthy life, so rejoice in that :)

Kyon Saucier said...

You will pull through eventually luv...

Anonymous said...

WELL, UNLIKE STEVIE. YOU'RE NOT BLIND AND SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THIS DAY WOULD EVENTUALLY COME. SO I'M HOPING YOU ARE NOT REALLY TOO DISTURBED OR UPSET ABOUT IT. I MEAN FROM READING YOUR BLOGS, HE'S A LOT OLDER THAN YOU AND YOU WERE HIS FIRST RELATIONSHIP. I DON'T THINK THAT HAS EVER WORKED FOR ANY GAY COUPLE. SO SILLY OF YOU TO THINK THAT THIS BOY WOULD NOT HAVE WANTED TO DATE ANY ONE ELSE. BUT I HOPE YOU GET OVER LOVE SOON. AND TRUST ME, I KNOW ALL TOO WELL THAT EATING YOUR SORROWS AWAY IS NOT THE ANSWER! BUT GOOD LUCK ON YOUR JOURNEY TO FINDING A BETTER MATE. I WISH YOU THE BEST

That Dude Right There said...

Sorry to hear that Corey.

C. Baptiste-Williams said...

remember the good times and lessons learned.

JAy LuV said...

so so so so sorry 2 read this.. wow.. speechless.

Q said...

Aww, boo boo!

rwise622 said...

I'm sure that you are heartbroken, but you're not stupid. At some point the self pity must end and you have to reflect on the positives. You have many attributes and tremendous support. It's not the end of the world.

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house30035 said...

Make it happen. You are master of your own destiny. You are blessed with a beatiful body and it will always be you even in the winter of life.
You can not repair or even create a relationship on your own. You can offer your love but if passed or denyed your love is not to be given as a token.

Troy N. said...

fuk what they said-- MORE CHEESECAKE DAMNIT and let's get up with some new sons; I'm thinking tight ass, dreds, full lips(aahhh..)Cheescake and boys; its all you ever needed!

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