Wednesday, June 16, 2010
You know your new guy is not a top when...
So Courtney called me Monday to update me on his situation with his lover.
Courtney as you remember is my friend who teaches at a school in North Carolina and who was dating a student who attends the school.
Well, while he and the student still have sex (great, dirty, nasty sex according to his perspective), they broke up and he has recently met a new guy he is every excited about. They met in the barbershop and he had no idea the guy got down. They have had two dates and both ended with some hot scrounging around. Courtney is a top and he is convinced the new guy (light skinned, hot lips, and dreds) is a top as well.
Oh lil Courtney! Let Corey school you!
You know your new guy is not a top when his a$s smells like vanilla.
A top’s ass does not exude any PLEASANT fragrance other than the occasional BAR soap.
You know your new guy is not a top when he washes with a loofa and a bottle of soap.
Most tops (70% of them) use manly smelling bar soaps. While a few will scrub down with sponges, most acquire some pretty funky nuts and need a good old fashioned towel and bar soap for all those hard to reach places.
You know your new guy is not a top when his hands have top coat.
I know a pedi and mani is the thing to do every now and then. But, really… a top coat? That’s taking the metrosexual a little too far for most tops.
You know your new guy is not a top when he calls you daddy in the middle of sex.
I know Twista and Usher have re-popularized the old role play standard, but tops don’t go for daddies. They are the daddies. So if he calls you daddy, then you are the daddy (i.e. TOP) and he’s the mommy. PERIOD.
So I was telling Courtney this, while on the phone, at the ATM.
And then, I was held-up... at gun point… by two FU@KING goons!