In our world, we value positivist. We appreciate positive comments, a positive outlook, and an overall positive approach to life. Rarely do we want to hear negative comments or negative feedback, regardless of how constructive they may be.
Tonight I spoke with my cousin Monty and he told me he was moving to D.C. I gave him my opinion of the move and he got really pissed.
I think D.C. is a great city… if you have money.
Monty accused me of being negative… all the time.
I thought about what he said and took his words to heart. I don’t think I am negative. I view myself as a realist. I see things as they are and if someone asks my opinion, I tell them how I feel. However, I can see how someone can see me as negative.
I am analytical and strategic. I look for problems and I look for solutions.
A co-worker told me a couple of weeks ago that she was complaining to much about our boss and that she had decided to read book entitled A Complaint Free World. It sounded like a good idea at the time, but now I realize the value of complaints. Without complainers we would not be as aware of problems. Without problems we would not find solutions and without solutions our world would never get better.
7 comments:
Just don't look (for problems) *too* hard, 'cuz then you can't enjoy the small things in life, however mundane...
Debbie Downer...I complain about things at times but I also look at the whole picture. When people ask me for my opinion i give them the pros and the cons...i give them the negative facts first and then the positive. Many times people have already made up their minds so depending on the question I just say, GOOD LUCK. But yes Debbie Downer you look for the negative and build from there. FYI your on the NO CALL list since u did not show up Saturday. LOL
Corey I know you pretty well. And I agree with Monty. You are too negative.You are always analyzing too much and presenting negative information, often when friends need some encouragement. Often friends just want someone to share in the joy and what do you do? Always doubt them or the situation. And news flash!Ur not always right and dont always know the full story. Sometimes just keep your comments to yourself.
There is nothing wrong with being "negative" or a realist. But you have to have a balance. Don't give up the negative side to go all positive. Bottom line is to balance the two. When I was a Manager and my workers had something negative to say I would make them say something truly positive in addition.
I don't know what to say about Anonymous' comments, because they opted not to leave names...
But, did your cousin ask for your opinion or did he just tell you that he was moving? The way it reads, it sounds like you pretty much told him that you did not think D.C. would be good for him because he could not afford it. Did you suggest that maybe he look into getting a roomate in order to afford it or ask him if he was going to work a couple of jobs to make this a reality?
Anyhow. I agree with BPS 4.0. There has to be a balance in MOST cases. Believe me, there are some exceptions, but most of the time, I think it is only fair that we see the good and the bad in situations and weigh them out.
If your cousin Monty did not move to DC based on your opinion what would be his alternative?
When your cousin gets to DC, he'll see exactly what you were talking about. DC is too darn expensive. I hate the fact that I make six-figures, but have to budget like a mad man because the cost of housing is so high (and no, I don't own a car...that's an expensive luxury I can survive without). If I had my salary in Atlanta, I would be loving it.
DC used to be fun and happening, all that stopped about 1999. If you don't have money or relations there, god bless you. All the so called underground, gay or alternative vibe is slowly but surely getting stamped out in ole chocolate city. The only thing viable left is Atlanta and even that's become pricey. The old DC your cousin would've loved but like everything else it changed and the change wasn't good.
Advice number one; Hold on to the close friends if there are any in DC and make sure that day job is solid, get a second job. And oh yeah; Watch your back.
There's nothing negative about a reality check. Sometimes they can save a whole lotta money and trouble.
Other than that welcome to the place where black and white folks alike try to outfake each other living on credit cards!
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