Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The end of Vibe Magazine? WTF!

More reflection forthcoming...

Vibe magazine ends publication
By Alexis Stevens
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Vibe, the music magazine founded in 1993 by legendary producer Quincy Jones, is shutting its doors, Editor Danyel Smith told the staff Tuesday.

“We were assigning and editing a Michael Jackson tribute issue when we got the news,” Smith wrote in a memo obtained by Atlanta Journal-Constitution.
The magazine blames its failure on the sagging economy and the collapse of print advertising, a common woe of other print journalism products, according to Steve Aaron, former CEO of VIBE Media Group.

“There are very few magazines with the richness of history and breadth of talented visionaries who created the powerful lens in which VIBE viewed and shaped urban music and culture,” Aaron wrote in a separate memo to staff members.
Revenue growth from its web site, www.vibe.com, was not enough to offset the magazine’s losses, Aaron said.

“It’s a sad day for music, for hip hop in particular, and for the millions of readers and users who have loved and who continue to love the VIBE brand,” Smith said.

Monday, June 29, 2009

This year's BET Awards were a...

Yawn… This year’s awards were an official mess. The absolute worst awards ever. Girl, I could have watched Sookie Stackhouse and Lafayette instead! Blah.

But some random thoughts…

Keri Hilson gave the kids Grease, a la Olivia Newton John.

Tyra Banks hair was a mess. I tried to rationalize the disaster and said maybe she wanted her weave to match her hips.

Beyonce, once again, cheated her fans. Looking like the bride of Neptune, God of the Sea, she sang Ava Maria. Halo would have been so appropriate but I can just see this chick being like, I already practiced Ava Maria so that’s what I am going to do…

The greatest highlights of the night, however, were the tweets- I truly laughed aloud throughout the program.

Best Tweets of the Night…
Keith Jones: Did no one tell the extremely homophobic Mary Mary they were on stage with a lesbian? Guess not…

Bey (Beyonce) sounds good. I love it… but has she abandonded pants?

BET should have died and MJ should have done a tribute to them.

Kendal B
Is Deborah Lee considered a Cougar or a Mountain Lion?

How many BET employees does it take to screw up a tribute? Apparently hundreds…

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Celebrity fall out...

I don't know where I have been but I just saw the picture of College Hill Atlanta's Dorian and just heard the hilarious (yet ridiculously inflammatory) interview with Wendy Williams' pet Charlemange. Check it out at http://www.zshare.net/audio/61708385cea44051/.

Also, I just heard about the Perez Hilton/Will i am uproar. Hilton's response was ROTF funny!

I have attached a copy of the Twitter messages-

perezhilton: oh my god you guys

perezhilton: oh. muh. GUH. i’ve been BRUTALLY SAVAGED. by SAVAGES.

perezhilton: will.i.am is a THUG and he HIT me. in my EYE.

perezhilton: i can see the booboo right now in one of the many mirrors i carry around with me at all times to make sure that the shaved lines and/or highlights in my hair remain subtle and artful and don’t have the effect of making me look like an angry fat woman who scrapbooks to distract herself from her sad life!

iamtherealwill @perezhilton: man, stfu. i just followed you out of the club to see if you’d want some of these Target coupons we got. 20% off smedium t-shirts and innocuous hooks! boom boom pow!

perezhilton in all my years of doing this, drawing semen dots on people’s faces has never resulted in my catching an eye jammie!

iamtherealwill @perezhilton: that’s not an eye jammie, man. what is this, Wreckx-N-Effect and Q-Tip in ’92? My manager was just swatting a fly away.

fergilicious @iamtherealwill: awwwww snap! u told him maing!

fergilicious @prerezhilton: u got LUMPED UP, ni**a!

perezhilton @fergilicious: …huh?

fergilcious: LMBAO!

iamtherealwill @fergilcious: quiet down, baby. remember what daddy said about being a good white girl.

fergilicious: *roger rabbits*

iamtherealwill @perezhilton: tell ‘em what you called me, man.


iamtherealwill @perezhilton: you’re lucky my man Taboo ain’t jump in that ass. right, Taboo?

taboo …


taboo: *does Easter Island statue impression*

iamtherealwill @perezhilton: Yeah son! Black Eyed Peas is too strong to be divided by your fuckery!

apldeap: That’s right fam! Apl de Ap is in the building!

SteveJobs *sends apl de ap cease & desist letter*

apldeap Scratch that! Non-Trademarked Personal Computr de Comp is in the building!

perezhilton someone call the police! i don’t know what else to do or how to get in touch with them! sent from Twitterberry, which if you weren’t too busy overreacting to notice is only available on a PHONE

fergilicious @perezhilton don’t bother! 911 is a JOKE, ni**a!

iamtherealwill @fergilicious seriously, pump the brakes for a second.

fergilicious @iamtherealwill whateva man.

fergilicious *does a b-girl pose*

fergilicious *slathers on shoe polish*

perezhilton @iamtherealwill Back off, Will.I.Am! I have 10 million people who read my site every day and are calling the police right now! especially since I already called the police and they didn’t really seem to care!

perezhilton I’m a music mogul and I support singers so fantastic and powerful you’ve never heard of them! And they’re all gonna be mad and boycott you! And I’m gonna keep hanging around them because I was unpopular in high school and now I exact my revenge via crude photoillustration!

perezhilton I mean, BECAUSE THEY LIKE ME FOR WHO I AM!

perezhilton *weeps gravy*

iamtherealwill @perezhilton that’s cool–mad people got my back too. i work with stars. stars! right, mike?

MJKingofPop whisper

iamtherealwill @MJKingofPop Really, man? That’s the best you can do?

MJKingofPop thank you i love you all god bless you don’t forget to tell your nephews i’m having a slumber party

iamtherealwill Sigh. Anyone else not out there not sufficiently repulsed by my sanctimonious and inane post-racial party anthems to vouch for me? I was on CNN, people! My hologram is the voice of the youth!

hologramwill Fuck yeah I am! I can talk about everything from voting for Obama to fixing the economy to the vagaries of cap-and-trade energy regulation! Except for the second one! And also the third one! Suck it, Rick Sanchez!

officialTila @iamtherealwill I got your back, baby! Talented people like us have to stick together, am I right?

officialTila *tries to turn head, topples over*

iamtherealwill @officialTila sure, why not.

iamdiddy @iamtherealwill I got ya back will! musical visionaries and cultural icons and future leaders gotta stick together too am i right? SELF-IMPORTANT BLOWHARDS WHO CONTRIBUTE NOTHING AT ALL TO THE NATIONAL CONVERSATION BUT CONSISTENTLY OVERSTATE OUR OWN SIGNIFICANCE LET’S GO!!!

WyclefJean @iamtherealwill You know I’m there for yoooooooooou! No one else I know has the stones to cross over and be thoroughly mediocre in so many other genres of music! THE WORLD IS MORE THAN HIP-HOP, PEOPLE!

WyclefJean *trips and crushes Canibus’ career*

officialTila you guys you guys you guys! will.i.am is in trouble! and for once it’s not the kind of trouble that my racquetball-hard fake breasts can float him out of!

MJKingofPop yikes breasts i’m outta here!

fergilicious Who said breasts? This sister got some fine breast lumps and humps her damn self! BLACKETY BLACK Y’ALL!

joshduhamel Jesus, not again.

joshduhamel @iamtherealwill Sorry, man.

joshduhamel *drags Fergie home*

fergilicious *tapdances the entire way*

Friday, June 19, 2009

Sexual Perversions... Part Duex

On this weekend, last year, I posted...

"I am very interested in human perversions. What are your thoughts on these sexual aberrations? What’s the quirkest, freakest, most perverse sexual deviation you’ve heard of?

I honestly heard my greatest perversity today. Obie said a guy he knows likes to give head while the guy he’s with is taking a dump. Ew…"

A year later, I ask again... share your sexual deviations and fetishes...

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

The Celebrity Tea...

When you have hours in the day to patrol the blogs...

We all know about the dissolvement of the Raymond marriage. Usher and Tamika are divorcing and I say thank God for that! I have loved Usher since we were 14 and I am so glad to have my other husband back in my arms. (P.S. Just because you divorced, girl, don’t you think I am going to join you. I told you not to marry that saggy cow!).

The author of Hiding in Hip-Hop, Terrance Dean has put two new NBA athletes on blast, promising to reveal their idenities in the upcoming weeks. He is accusing two players, who played on separate NBA teams, of getting on, on the down-low. While I give little creed to his claims, we can all dream. If you could have any semi-final b-ball, who do you covet?

Has anyone seen this recent picture of Kelis? I used to be a fan…

Monday, June 15, 2009

This Mess I call Life... (Corey's Random Updates)

Today it starts! I have the debt-diet plan prepared.

I am on a $100 per week budget, with $50 discresionary dollars allocated for weekend emergency use only.

I will update my spending every week. I am doing this because it will provide a visual reference and will force accountability. I am also allowing Parker daily access to my online account so that he can also hold me accountable for my spending. So far, I have spent no money today!

I have a twitter account! Check me out: http://twitter.com/foreveratlanta.

Q made me indulge in one final splurge before the debt diet started. I purchased a bottle of Creed’s Neroli Sauvage. As stated by the creed website, Neroli Sauvage is “a symphony of tangy citrus notes including Orange Flower (Neroli), Bergamot, Petitgrain, Lemon and Grapefruit married to the earthiness of Sandalwood and Ambergris.” The cologne smells great but it simply does not last long enough. When I combine it with a spray of Imperial (a sixth generation Creed fragrance that was originally made for the King of Saudi Arabia), the blend is wonderful and definitely endures.

I picked up a copy of the first two episodes of True Blood from Blockbuster and watched them on the plane when leaving Puerto Rico. I have fallen in love with this show. HBO has created yet another great show. Any other True Blood fans out there?

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Kyle: South Beach B@*chAs$edness

I have not been a faithful follower of BET’s College Hill franchise, but this summer have caught a couple of episodes. I just caught last week’s episode (the one where Kyle is contemplating leaving) and I must say I was impressed by this slice of reality television. Clearly Kyle realizes he has issues and has embarrassed himself and his family. It is also clear that his over the top behavior comes from insecurities and a strong dislike for himself. That is sad. Oh well. Like Parker said last night: They need to let that ratched-assed messy queen go!”

I am not sure I spelled “ratched” correct. This is a “new negro” term, I believe.

Personally, I have hated Ms. Kyle from day one. Too much mouth, too much drama, and too food. Yes, it is clear Kyle hates himself. Kyle also needs to grow up and be a man. It’s one thing to be a gay man, but he is still a man and attacking females is never appropriate.

Kyle thinks he is a diva. The diva. Don diva. A hot mess. If Kyle was really a diva, he should take some notes from Milan. She gives you face, body-oddy, and poise too boot.

Hell, he could even take notes from Ms. Brandon. With all of the nasty cattiness she’s been throwing towards Milan, it’s clear she is She’s clearly a diva as well.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Corey Keith and the Debt Diet...

Yesterday Parker and I went running.

His day actually started with spin class. My day started with me frowned up screaming at him to get out of our bedroom so I could go back to sleep. He was trying to get me up to go with him to spin class. I didn’t go. I stayed in the bed.

While running, Parker and I had a long talk about finances. He is excellent with money. He is budget conscious and frugal. I am spend happy and a glutton.

This summer I am attempting to trim the fat from my lifestyle. Unfortunately, this process is becoming a lot more about how and why I spend instead of how much money I make.

The thing that bothers Parker the most about my spending habits is the waste. It’s things like Whole Foods. I love this store. I love the fresh fruit, the fresh flowers, the wine selection, the hot bar, the salad bar, the cake selection… the list goes on. Unfortunately, so does my receipt when I leave the store. Last Thursday I grabbed lunch from Whole Foods… for $17. Yikes. Last Thursday was a debt diet failure day.

Dees is always telling me that I will never save money. He swears that I will never downgrade my lifestyle so that I will save money. He may be right. I hope he is wrong. I am in prayer about the discipline I need. Maybe I should join the military. I hear it helps build the discipline I am so clearly lacking.

Monday, June 8, 2009

2009 Tony Award Highlights

In case you missed it... the two best performances from last nights Tony Awards. I have not seen either of these shows but will be hitting NYC in September to catch one of these performances...

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Our moment in the sun...

Like great sex, our vacation came way too fast. Before we knew it, we were coming home (pun intended). Here are some pictures and some highlights!

We spent the evenings at the Atlantic Hotel Beach drinking three-dollar cocktails, watching the waves crash.

We visited Old San Juan and ate monfungos.

Parker swam and I splashed in the ocean.

We discussed our futures and our lives together.

We drank mojito after mojito and gambled at the casinos. We did not get lucky.

A pale, blond mechanic from Madison, Wisconsin wanted a wet and wild threesome at the beach. He did not get lucky.

We saw a cabaret show that was GOD- AWFUL.

We had a wonderful vacation.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Corey Keith wants you to get it all out...

For Parker and I, its vacation time! For you, dear reader, it’s POST SECRET TIME! Post your secret, but please adhere to the following….

1. Please post only anonymous comments are allowed... if you post under a name, it may be deleted.

2. Anything goes (just like an online hook-up in Atlanta) but please avoid anything that would result in a warning from blogger.

3. Don't comment on anyone else’s secret.

4. One secret per comment. Feel free to post multiple comments though.

Remember, confession is good for the soul.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Corey Keith's plan to get out of this mess...

On the cover of this week’s Newsweek, Oprah smiles and professes the need to live your best life and I agree. This summer I plan to work towards living my best life. It’s time to diet and I am not just referring to food. Debt diet like Ms. Suzy said… Read the article at http://www.newsweek.com/id/200025... It’s not really about Oprah but it kind of fit into this entry… kind of…

I have a lot of work to complete this summer. Teaching a couple of adjunct classes and completing requirements for an advanced degree, but I am committed to find time for the gym. I am committed to find time to read and grow spiritually. I am also committed to saving money…

I am currently planning my plan for better health. And by better health I am referring to physically, mentally, financially, and spiritually.

I will keep you updated each step of the way.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Mr. Keith is...

It’s summer and damn it, it could not have come soon enough. This school year was so long and so difficult!

Rarely do I write about my life as a teacher. Mr. Keith is nothing like Corey.

Mr. Keith is strict.
Mr. Keith is serious about the teaching of writing.
Mr. Keith does not believe in excuses.
Mr. Keith rarely agrees with his school’s administration.
Mr. Keith is either loved or hated by co-workers.
Mr. Keith is brutally honest with students and peers.
Mr. Keith hates missing work.
Mr. Keith makes students laugh everyday, every period.

I love being a teacher- grading essays, discussing novels, helping develop future leaders. But I hate the politics of education. I hate how unqualified people complicate your job and how you have very little say in school policy or school-wide decisions (this may be isolated to my building and my school’s leadership).

Again, I am ready for the summer and the chance to not only recharge, but to reconsider the path my career is taking.