I didn't hang up... I just put you on hold...

Writing has been my passion from the moment I was able to write. I remember buying tablets and filling them with my hard to read script. I remember drawing awful illustrations to go with my own versions of the Dick and Jane reader that I loved so much as a first grader. Writing is as essential to my existence as eating or praying. It took my ten year old niece to remind me of this.

For Christmas, she asked her uncle for a new diary because she filled out the last pages of her old one in November. When I thought about being ten and writing in a little diary, I remembered how important it was for me to write. The entire experience of buying her a new journal made me remember writing and blogging.

The entire experience made me think about why I started this blog in the first place. This blog is a chronicle of my life. Of loves and mishaps, of mistakes and missteps, this blog chronicles my imperfect stumble through life. It has been five years of writing for me as Corey and I realize that this is just the beginning of our long and special relationship.

I have missed you.

I didn’t hang up on you, dear reader…. I just put you on hold. I needed a break because life had taken me in a different direction. I completed my dissertation and my doctorate in August. After my trip to Chicago, I knew I needed to focus only on my dissertation, so that is what I did. After I finished in August, I thought I would go back to writing, but I needed a mental break. I still worked for two different schools, was busy applying for new jobs, and was focused on dating. I was so overwhelmed with life, that I was unable to write for pleasure.

In my time away, I have missed you so. But I am back and will continue to write as long as I have something to say… our time is now.

Mrs. Pewtersmith speaks... on Chicago!

This past weekend, I went to Chicago for the Taste of Chicago and black gay pride. It was an experience to say the least. I had a blast with fiends and family and thought about what to actually write in regards to describing the experience. I decided to use my newly deemed alter-ego (from NC Thomas), Mrs. Pewtersmith.

Mrs. Pewtersmith does not do mornings.
Honey, Mrs. Pewtersmith sleeps. And while some girls are up and at ‘em when the cock crows, at that time, Mrs. Pewtersmith is usually just turning over, dreaming about her cock crowing (um, is that a paradox?).

Now Thirsty is an early bird, and when those blinds opened at 8 and Mrs. Pewtersmith had just gotten in the bed at 8… oh no ma’am. That’s what 5 hour energies and other caffeine rich pills will do to you! Hmph. Mrs. Pewtersmith needs her beauty rest.

Mrs. Pewtersmith does not drive… she gets driven.
Okay, let Mrs. Pewtersmith clarify, honey. I was willing to drive, but no one allowed me to because they said I drive too slowly. Oh well. Some girls are just bred for chauffeuring.


Mrs. Pewtersmith was born for Michigan Avenue.
I loved (window) shopping in Chicago. The magnificent mile was amazing! And they had a huge ZARA. Mrs. Pewtersmith lived! She did not necessarily shop, but she did live…


Mrs. Pewtersmith will NOT have sex in the stairwell.
But someone else will. Hmph.

Mrs. Pewtersmith goes to Casinos to spend money… not win it.
Honey, some of the girls went to Harrah’s Horseshoe to get their bills paid (and cheers to you for your earnings), but Mrs. Pewtersmith goes for entertainment. I go in to play because I have money to play with. Hmph. And yes, I lost my 20 dollars, but hey, I had it to lose. No shade.

Mrs. Pewtersmith loves her friends!
Thanks so much to those old girls who went on the trip. I had a blast. Thanks to Thirsty for the invite, AJ and MJ for company on the road and in the room, Fee for always being the big brother and leader that he is, Fin Head for the laughs (Go to the wall, June. Go to the wall), Dees for the reads, Courtney for the memories, and Thomas for the entire experience. Ah… to be a Pewtersmith indeed comes with privileges.

Oh BET... you did it again...

I know it's late but I am finishing a disseration so cut me a little slack...

So I was a little disappointed in this year’s BET Awards. While it was not as bad as last year’s, it was by no means as good as a few from year’s past.

It was too sweet of Trey Songz to bring his mom onstage with him when he won his award. So… did she have him when she was 12?

Nikki Minaj did a great job. She earned my respect. I still don’t like her. I feel as though she does not deserve her current props, but she really did a great job.





Puff Daddy turned it out! Great performance from a performer so played.


The Prince tribute was a fail and I was sooo looking forward to it. I have been listening to my Prince iphone mix for days. And what I got was this…


(Get yo fat a@@ off the furniture, ho!)


Patti is an icon. Icon’s don’t have to sing. It’s better we remember Patti not singing at the 2010 BET awards…



Oh, and am I the only one, but I thought El Dabarge was dead.

Oguchi Onyewu- It's men like this that make the World Cup worth my time!

Just Another Weekend in the A...

Professor Courtney and Thomas from North Carolina came to town for Thomas’ birthday. Our weekend went a little something like this…

Welcome to ATL… Let’s Have Lunch at Busy Bee Café

Busy Bee is an Atlanta soulfood staple. The fried chicken is legendary (in large part because it is soaked in a buttermilk batter overnight) and I wanted Courtney and Thomas to try it. Thomas loved the food. Courtney opted for healthier fare and ordered a plate of sliced tomatoes.

Friday Night at Blake’s
I am all about diversity and I have no problem partying with the white girls (and the black girls who love them). We hit up Blake’s, saw the awful drag show, and had a few drinks. It was a nice way to welcome guests to ATL.

Watching The Housewives of New York Reunion
Okay, so I totally missed out on this show but the reunion has me hooked. The season replays on Thursday and I plan to DVR each episode. Fee, Thomas, and Courtney were rolling at the sheninigans of the ladies. My favorites are Ramona and Kelly! They are a hoot and a holler!

The Greek Picnic

I skipped out on this bull$hit. I don’t believe in all this adult Greek garbage. I joined a NPHC organization to make a difference in my community, not to brag on letters and talk trash. Atlanta saw 94 degrees. To think I was going to be in a park with over 500 negroes strolling and hopping and screaming out calls is unbelievable. I was home taking a nap when those two were out somewhere crying skee-wee.

Michael’s Hot Birthday Pool Party
My friend Michael had a cute pool party in Lithonia. While Fee and the body girls got into the pool, I stayed in the cut and had a FEW drinks. Well, I got drunk. But it was a great time. I don’t know how much those six Hennessey and Sprites impacted it, but everyone seemed to echo my sentiments.

Saturday Night at Traxx
Okay… so Traxx is an Atlanta Icon! It really, really is… but it was an absolute mistake for us to go. Douglas, Fee, Courtney, Thomas, and I went… on my suggestion, but it was late as he!l. And I know.. I know… Traxx is for the young girls but in the new ATL, there is no other option for Saturday night fun.

Sunday Brunch at Chequers
We were supposed to eat at Pappaduex’s (and their New Orleans seafood brunch is Atlanta’s best) but it was father’s day (i.e. packed) so we (on Courtney’s request) ate at Chequers brunch. The food was mediocre. I was not pleased with the food or Courtney’s “I have not had a decent meal this entire trip” comment. Note when taken to Busy Bee he ordered a plate of got dam9ed tomatoes.

Sunday Night at the White Party

The annual Five Friends for Life White Party has consistently delivered a classy, upscale ATL event. This year’s party, held at downtown hot spot, Opera, was no exception. Great event and great end to a really enjoyable weekend.

I am thankful I am still here...

I was held up at the ATM by my house. I was on the phone with Courtney when two black males (probably in their late teens, early twenties) ran up to my car. One ran to the front, the other to the back. Both had guns. I threw my hands up, and screamed, repeatedly, okay, okay, okay…

Only one of the thieves spoke. He took the cash I withdrew and snatched my phone out of my hand. He also took the phone charger. Then he told me to withdraw more money.

I put the atm card in but it was taking too long so he told me to give him my wallet, which was on the floor. I said, okay, and then he told me to get out of the car.

An avid Oprah watcher, I knew then that if I did that, it was over. YOU NEVER GET OUT OF THE CAR. I told him okay. My wallet, which was in my lap, had fallen to the floor. I bent over to get it, threw the car into drive and punched it. I stayed down and they did not fire. I made it away… alive.

You know your new guy is not a top when...

So Courtney called me Monday to update me on his situation with his lover.
Courtney as you remember is my friend who teaches at a school in North Carolina and who was dating a student who attends the school.

Well, while he and the student still have sex (great, dirty, nasty sex according to his perspective), they broke up and he has recently met a new guy he is every excited about. They met in the barbershop and he had no idea the guy got down. They have had two dates and both ended with some hot scrounging around. Courtney is a top and he is convinced the new guy (light skinned, hot lips, and dreds) is a top as well.

Oh lil Courtney! Let Corey school you!
You know your new guy is not a top when his a$s smells like vanilla.
A top’s ass does not exude any PLEASANT fragrance other than the occasional BAR soap.

You know your new guy is not a top when he washes with a loofa and a bottle of soap.
Most tops (70% of them) use manly smelling bar soaps. While a few will scrub down with sponges, most acquire some pretty funky nuts and need a good old fashioned towel and bar soap for all those hard to reach places.

You know your new guy is not a top when his hands have top coat.
I know a pedi and mani is the thing to do every now and then. But, really… a top coat? That’s taking the metrosexual a little too far for most tops.


You know your new guy is not a top when he calls you daddy in the middle of sex.
I know Twista and Usher have re-popularized the old role play standard, but tops don’t go for daddies. They are the daddies. So if he calls you daddy, then you are the daddy (i.e. TOP) and he’s the mommy. PERIOD.

So I was telling Courtney this, while on the phone, at the ATM.
And then, I was held-up... at gun point… by two FU@KING goons!

Concert Musings... A Beatdown Badu!

Last night I attended the Erykah Badu/Maxwell concert with my ex- Michael (who is on the path to heterosexuality). The concert was great, but Badu looked a hot mess! She wore a black coat, a tattered weave, rolled up yellow sweat pants (which were turned inside out), and a yellow tee-shirt that was a different shade of yellow from the bottoms. What’s the deal? Was she making a statement or just giving a huge “fu(k you” to the crowd?



And Miss Maxwell was great. Is he one of the “girls?” I’m wondering.

A successful Chris...

Last week my old roommate Chris turned 25 and marked four years in Atlanta. Many readers don't remember Chris but he was one of the three reasons I started this blog. With four men living in a house I knew hilarity would ensue and it did. Chris was the baby in the group. A fresh college grad from the deep south Chris came to Atlanta full of bright eyed optimism and I am happy to say he is definitely an ATL success story.

While many are tempted by the big city and bright lights, too often the young fall victim to all that GAyTL has to offer. That did not happen to Chris. He has been with his firm for four years, and at 25, is a CPA. Chris really is an inspiration. I am proud of the lil cutie.

I wonder how Joe and Aaron are doing. I should give them a call. Maybe I should rent a room. With this economy, the extra coney defiantly wouldn't hurt.

Getting my house in order...

It's time for spring cleaning and my house is out of control. Boxes, books, storage containers... I have some serious cleaning to do and I am so angry that I allowed my house and my life to become so cluttered. And as i am attempting to clear space, I realize the root cause of my inability to maintain an uncluttered home.

Growing up poor, I think I have an unconscious need to hold on to everything. I fear that I am one step away from being a hoarder.

I have stacks and stacks of lessons and teaching materials to file away. My study is littered with magazines and comic books. My spare bedrooms are full of boxes and junk that I need to throw away.

I am going to start the sorting tonight. My plan is to empty three boxes per day. The bulk of my trash will be thrown away.

My garage is fairly clean. I think I will use excess space to store boxes there. If only cleaning out the other clutter in my life was this simple...

The rain is ashes...

While waiting on a lunch date, I decided to check my email and read about the passing of a friend, Dean Chambers.

The email read:
HEY GUYS I HOPE ALL IS WELL. JUST WANNA TOUCH BASE WITH YOU TO SAY ANOTHER FRIEND HAS BEEN CALLED HOME. I WASNT THINKING BOUT TELLING YOU GUYS CAUSE SO MUCH HAS BEEN GOING ON. SOME OF YOU KNOW HIM HIS NAME IS DEAN CHAMBERS. HE WAS CALLED HOME ON SUNDAY MOTHERS DAY IN L. A. DEAN MOVED BACK TO LA SOMETIME LAST YEAR I BELIEVE. HE ALSO HELPED OUT WITH THE FALLTACULAR YOU GUYS HAVE.

THE FUNERAL WILL BE NEXT TUES 5/18 2PM

Then, while patrolling the blogs, I read about the suicide of another friend, Jameel Smith.
Read Keith’s touching words at http://www.keithdjones.net.

My heart is broken for both losses. I have no words that can adequately express my shock and empathy for those who are hurting now but the poem Hum by Ann Lauterbach gives voice to the multitude of emotions I feel tonight.

Hum
by Ann Lauterbach


The days are beautiful
The days are beautiful.

I know what days are.
The other is weather.

I know what weather is.
The days are beautiful.

Things are incidental.
Someone is weeping.

I weep for the incidental.
The days are beautiful.

Where is tomorrow?
Everyone will weep.

Tomorrow was yesterday.
The days are beautiful.

Tomorrow was yesterday.
Today is weather.

The sound of the weather
Is everyone weeping.

Everyone is incidental.
Everyone weeps.

The tears of today
Will put out tomorrow.

The rain is ashes.
The days are beautiful.

The rain falls down.
The sound is falling.

The sky is a cloud.
The days are beautiful.

The sky is dust.
The weather is yesterday.

The weather is yesterday.
The sound is weeping.

What is this dust?
The weather is nothing.

The days are beautiful.
The towers are yesterday.

The towers are incidental.
What are these ashes?

Here is the hate
That does not travel.

Here is the robe
That smells of the night

Here are the words
Retired to their books

Here are the stones
Loosed from their settings

Here is the bridge
Over the water

Here is the place
Where the sun came up

Here is a season
Dry in the fireplace.

Here are the ashes.
The days are beautiful.

About Bow Wow's Dildo...

After reading about Bow Wow and Kat Stacks on Mediatakeout, I went to http://katstacks.com and read her take on the dildo she used to please Bow Wow's booty:


The 3rd time I saw him he had just came back from club Liv at the Fontainebleau in Miami drunk & texted me to come over sense I only live like 5 mins away in Williams Island building 6000. I had brought my own Hennessy bottle & I sat down & drank as he was on Twitter on his Apple Mac Book talking about Youtube ( funny how he introduced me to Youtube LOL Bet he regrets that ) after like an hour of me drinking & talking shit he told me to come in his room so I followed, he sat on the black leather chair & I pulled his pants down & started sucking him up , as soon as it got hard again I shoved it all down my throat & slid it up & down without pulling it out , he was squeezing my hair hard & untied my silver top from the back & started playing with my breasts. Minutes later he took off his shirt & got up & laid on the floor, it was so funny ’cause my ankle bracelet started beeping in red so I had to get up & put it to charge which made his dick soft. I took off all my clothes & started sucking him off again , he told me to come up closer & started finger popping me & then switched to my booty hole , he kept fingering me it felt weird but I kept my mouth shut. While I was licking on his balls he told me to go get this vibrator under the red hat on his long counter table so I did & it was purple & egg shaped , I was expecting for him to ask me to use to in front of him but instead he said to put it back on the floor & keep giving him head , after a while he told me to pick it back up & turn it on & rub the egg shaped vibrator against his ass … I couldn’t believe what he was asking me but I didn’t complain cause as a stripper I’ve had alot of customers ask me to this in the Champagne Rooms. He closed his eyes & started moaning “keep sucking it” he ordered as he pushed my head down to his dick, I started licking his sides making symbols with my toungue ” Put it in” so I stuck it half way which made his legs shake & he pushed my head down even deeper as his dick choked me I almost gagged , then he got up with the vibrator still up his ass & told me to turn around so I did & he spread my legs apart & put it in hard & deep & started beating it hard for like 10 mins until he came. He was so drunk he didn’t do his usual routine to go shower, instead he laid on the floor releaved breathing hard with the vibrator still inside so I took advanage & laid on his chest since he always treated me as “Wham Bam thank you Mam!” I started asking him questions about life and I asked him if he was gay or if it was just a fetish & he said he was confused & didn’t know how to answer the question. So we just laid on the floor until we passed out.

This is the reason why Bow Wow called me & had a long conversation with me about not exposing him.

Parker needs a job...

Parker graduates in two weeks and has not found a job.

While we are both very aware of the economic climate, the reality of joblessness after graduation is still daunting.

Parker did everything by the business major textbook. He is graduating with a 4.0 from a reputable business school. He’s worked for two years in sales and interned for a year and a half in marketing. He joined several active and acclaimed business organizations and remained close to his professors.

When I graduated, students with less credentials had jobs being thrown at them. It is sad how the reality of our economy hits hard.

It is also hard to comfort him when he’s so dismayed. It is doubly hard to comfort him because I would feel even worse if the shoe was on the other foot.

Goodbye, Darian... I will miss you...

One of the main impediments to my blogging has been the lack of convenient time. An attempt to remedy this has been my recent purchase of an iPad. I am hoping this device will allow me to not only update more frequently but it will also help me keep up with my fellow bloggers.

And speaking of favorite bloggers, Living Out Loud with Darian posted his final blog entry today. I cannot believe Atlanta’s most relevant blogger has decided to end his highly read blog. Nationally, renowned, Darian’s blog updated readers on not only Atlanta issues, but national issues that relate to the lifestyle we lead. Darian’s blog was consistently updated, always timely, and wonderfully written. I will miss it dearly.

And with that, I have a few questions…

Okay, I know I am late with this, but Emilio was robbed on Project Runway. What the f*ck was Heidi, Nina, and Michael Kors thinking?

Has anyone else in this blog world as obsessed with Lost as me? I have followed this show religiously for six years. I cannot believe it is slowly coming to an end.

Does anyone watch Glee? Does anyone else think the quality on the show has dropped dramatically?

Oh my God, I live for Wendall Lissimore! Thanks to LOL with Darian for introducing Model City and Lissimore to me.

Um… does anyone else watch porn? Um… Snowballerz 4 is off the chain.

Tyler Perry is a Homewrecker!

My friend Courtney, 27, lives in North Carolina and is a professor at a private college. He has been in a relationship with a young man (yes, a student but not his student) for the past two years. In that time he has grown to love Amil and Amil, I think, loves him in return. Courtney has never had reason to mistrust Amil but after watching Tyler Perry’s Why Did I Get Married Two, he decided to check Amil’s blackberry. And he found some very questionable messages from a young lady.

Courtney confronted Amil and Amil confessed to an ongoing affair with his ex-girlfriend.

Hmmm…

A little background on Amil. He’s a 22 year old scorpio who has slept with men his entire life, but who has also slept with women. He claims he’s bisexual and can’t get pussy out of his system. That’s the excuse he gave Courtney for cheating.

Courtney called me for advice and I just listened. I am honestly baffled about what he should do. I never recommend breaking up. My motto is always “breaking up is not an option.” But in this case…

Any thoughts out there?

Can you really come home again?

A number of bloggers wrote last week about their absence from this world and it made me think about the purpose we serve as bloggers. Bloggers provide news, updates, dish the dirt, and provide insightful entertainment and ready breaks from the mundane nature of the daily grind.

It also made me realize that not only are we missed when we don’t write, but our purpose stands unfulfilled.

Bloggers are becoming increasingly important in our society as print journalism continues to decline in relevancy. Atlanta’s two major gay publications, David and Southern Voice both folded. And while new publications attempt to gain their followers, consistency is still needed. Bloggers who are dedicated and passionate about their craft provide that consistency.

There are moments, sometimes days and sometimes months, when we have nothing to say. Moments when our professional lives take priority and we are unable to steal away the time to write something of worth for our readers.

There are moments when we also wonder if our writing is even worth our time and the answer that we should always come to is yes, it is worth our time. Yes, our readers care about what we have to say and about our lives and we have a responsibility to get up, get out, and write.

I missed you and I am happy to be home. And now… let me tell you about those cheating bisexuals…

The life of the party...

Too often we take friends and experiences for granted. We rarely consider that on any given day, at any given time, a conversation with a friend will be our last.

The last time I saw Jesse Sims was at a birthday gathering for our friend Ray in late February and as usual, he was the life of the party. The last email was sent hours before
he had a heart attack at work. He never recovered and was laid to rest Friday.

The loss of Jesse has really made me realize some very important things.

Jesse was, be the way, the picture of health. He worked out, was active, and was WELL kept.
He was fashionable, immaculately groomed, and physically fit. His death came as a shock to everyone who knew him.

I regret not knowing him better.

I always intended to call him, to ask him about his partner, to find out how they had made it work for so many years. Now, I will never know.

His partner’s name was not in the obituary. No picture they had taken was included. This broke my heart. I refuse to allow this to happen to Parker or anyone I love, for that matter.

More celebrities coming out?

Does Tiger Swing Both Ways?
By Hello Beautiful January 7, 2010


One of Tiger’s many mistresses, Loredana Jolie Ferriolo, is penning a tell-all book about the golf champion and claims that she witnessed him in gay encounters.
In the book, Loredana claims that Tiger has had sexual relationships with other men. Though this has never been said by any of his other mistresses, part of Loredana’s book goes into full detail about his love for group sex that “included incidents of Tiger with other men.”

As she is shopping the book around for $1 million, she promises that the pages will reveal all and talk about when Tiger “came about, his healthy appetite for arranged sex, threesomes, girls next door, girl-girl, and an answer to all the rumors surrounding Woods’ sexuality.

And Ray-J too? I would love to smash a homie!

Tales from My Hood...

My friend Thirsty always comments about my living in a suburb of Atlanta s opposed to the actual city of Atlanta. Two events of the past week make me realize how right he can be.

I go into my cleaners to get my work clothes for the week and I am greeted by Salim.

“You don’t unbutton shirts, I don’t clean any more.”
“Excuse me?”
“You shirts, no unbutton.”

Okay. So I decipher that Salim is saying that I fail to unbottom my dress shirts. And he’s right. They aren’t unbottoned. I take the shirt off, pull out the tee-shirt, and throw it in the hamper or on the floor.

So basically Salim is saying that I cannot bring my dry cleaning to him any longer.

My response;
“Okay. I’ll just go across the street. Thank you for your work. Sorry for the inconvenience. Have a nice day.”

Mo’ Better Chicken is a hole in the wall, soul food restaurant located around the corner from my house. I probably eat there twice a month. The food is usually mediocre at best but for a quick vegetable plate, it’s good enough.

So I go in, survey the vegetables, and spy a bowl of potato salad. I love potato salad. I ask for a sample and my request is denied. When I ask why, I get-
“You aint gon’ go into Burger King across the street and ask for no samples. Why you gone ask me?”

“Well, a whopper always tastes like a whopper at each Burger King I may visit. However, everyone’s potato salad tends to be different. But no matter. I don’t want the potato salad. I don’t want anything in here. I would like to speak to the manager.”

“I’m the manager.”

“Oh, hell. Oh well. I don’t want a sample of potato salad or of anything else here today or tomorrow or ever. I’ll never eat here again.”

Sad the poor service in my hood. And was a small sample of potato salad worth the cost of losing a sale of $4.99?

Oh Atlanta! You disappointed so...

So the New Year has come and I can say that last night was the lamest night Atlanta’s ever seen!

I was speaking to Uncle Dee and he commented that this was the first time we have ever been in want of something to do for New Year’s eve.

It’s hard to believe the city I love so much has fallen so low.

The house parties used to be plentiful. This year they were nonexistent. The clubs were open but they were far from popping. Well, the high prices that gradually increased as the night waned were popping for sure but defiantly not in a good way.

On a bright note, I did bring in the New Year at church. Tabernacle was off the chain last night! It’s just that after church was over, there was nothing to do.

I should have gone to New York with Monty and Thomas or DC with Douglas and Fee.

Oh well. Now I know for next year!