From Tiger Tyson to Mike Tyson

“When the first lick comes, they just keep on coming. And this is something all females need to know, too.”
J-Money, David’s EX-Boyfriend

David beat up his boyfriend and then dumped him this morning. David is convinced that J-Money wanted him to hit him. He swears that J-Money taunted him and taunted him until he was left with no other alterative. I believe that some people thrive off drama and confrontation. They need to argue and be abused to feel loved and wanted.

Often times, in abusive relationships, we are inclined to rally around the abused and not realize that every story has two sides to it. Abuse is not uncommon in gay male relationships. I have never been the victim of physical abuse by a boyfriend or lover, and I have never been the perpetrator of such abuse, but I have been privy to multiple occasions where abuse has happened.

With the aforementioned said, physical abuse should not be tolerated in any relationship. I have never and will never be hit by a grown man. When a relationship problem gets to the point of physical confrontation, the relationship is no longer healthy. While I think David and J-Money’s relationship is far from over, the situation is only going to get worse until the root cause of their differences are cleared up.

Payment Due for Services Rendered

“There are those who know and those who don’t know. And trust me, you will know those who don’t know from those who know the moment they open their mouths to speak.”
-Larry Dinkins, Friend

Livid. That is the word Larry used to describe my current state of mind after I carefully explained what had caused me to explode into a raucous rant. My cable is off. My internet is off. My telephone is off. And Joe is to blame.

Joe worked for Charter cable from August to October and supposedly he received free cable services (i.e. cable, internet, and telephone). Well, today the services were turned off and I informed Joe that he had to move out by the end of the month. I then wished him a happy New Year.

The lesson in this situation is simple. When it comes to irresponsible people, no matter how much one may want them to change, they rarely do.

In regards to finances, I knew Joe would probably not prove to be responsible in regards to making his financial commitments, but I wanted to help and be there for him as a friend. This was my mistake and paying the thousand plus dollars that is owed on the Charter account is the price that I will have to pay for my decision.

There are not many things that are controllable in life, but whom we bring into our lives is one of the things we can control.

The homes we keep, much like our lives, are not meant to be open to everyone. And an old adage could rarely ring so true: The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

The Roles We Play

What can you do when you have one sexual preference and your lover has the same sexual preference? Well, while I have rarely run into this problem, my friend David has. David is twenty-two and a college student at Alabama State University and has always been vocally expressive about being a bottom in his relationships. He is currently dating J-Money (I have no idea where this little tag comes from or what this names means, but if it works for David, it works for me) and from the looks of things, J-Money would be a clear top, but his is not the case.
While we often want certain commonalities in our lovers, the old adage that opposites attract definitely holds true in terms of sexual preferences for gay men. Versatitility exists in every gay man in the same manner that same-sex attractions exist in everyone, but a preference for being a top or for being a bottom also exists. Sexual differences can lead to major problems in relationships, as is the current case for David and J-Money. I think David loves J-Money, but today, around noon, he cheated. I couldn’t condone the action, but I can say I understand the action.

The Father, The Son

Today started with an argument between Aaron and I over Lil’ Jack. Lil’ Jack is Aaron’s little brother/mentee and is currently the product of the foster care system. After this morning’s argument, I realized that Aaron is the epitome of the gay deadbeat foster dad.

Many people in the gay community make a strong case for gay adoption. Aaron is not one of those people in our community. Being a father means being responsible and being able to take care of your own. Too many men become fathers before they are able to take care of themselves, let alone others. Unfortunately for Lil’ Jack, this is the case with Aaron.

Becoming a parent should be the most selfless act we make in our lives, but often times we make parenthood into a selfish act. We have children because we want children or because we irresponsibly make them, even though we may not have the resources to provide for them. To a certain extent, this is excusable for a straight couple or a married couple, but I do not think it is excusable for a gay couple or a single gay man, such as Aaron.

My Roommates- An Adventure in Babysitting

These are the people who populate my life and my home:

Joe and I have been roommates the longest, if one can consider eleven months a long time. Well, if one would want to be technical, Joe did not actually make my home his permanent residence until August, not February. He moved back to Atlanta from D. C. in February, meet a lover in March, promptly moved out, but then moved back in during the month of August. Joe works in financial planning.

Aaron moved in at the end of October. He’s a former youth minister and currently works with troubled youth. He serves as a mentor/big brother to a gay fifteen year old who visits during the holidays and some weekends.

Chris recently moved in the house and to Atlanta. A graduate of the University of Alabama, Chris is interning for Norfolk Southern Railway’s Accounting Division.

Oh, and finally, there’s Double Dees. He is my best friend. He does not live in the house, but he is here, with him computer, a lot.