Ouch. Small mistakes can lead to the biggest problems.
Things with Parker have been going really well. I was amazed at the smooth transition we were experiencing. We’ve had relatively few disagreements, and we rarely ever argue… or at least that was our course until this most recent weekend.
Flashback: Darnell is the first guy I ever made love to and the first guy I ever dated. Imagine me- twenty one, pledging a fraternity, and getting the shit whacked out of me. Darnell was my big brother, my support. I used my rock for a little more than leaning. Never mind the fact that he was engaged to the mother of his three children and seeing another guy on the low… Needless to say we made it work for almost a year. In that year, we fell in love, shared a wonderful learning experience, realized we’d be better off as friends, and eventually, moved on.
Flash Forward: Darnell’s job transferred him to Atlanta in March. In that time, I have tried to be super supportive. I realize how hard it is for someone to be placed in a city that is not of their choice and I also realize how hard it is when that city is Atlanta. Darnell is not an introvert. I have tried to work him into my social group and help him meet some quality friends.
Parker has not been super supportive of my supporting Darnell. I am friends with all of my exes and that is something with which Parker does not always agree.
On Friday night, Parker spent the evening with his friends. Great, I thought to myself. I think it is essential that we give each other space and breathing room. He went clubbing, had some drinks, and spent the night with his best friend, Thomas.
I took the evening as a chance to catch up with Darnell, a hot new guy he was dating, and Double Dees (my best friend, who Parker does not really vibe). The four of us went out to eat, came back to our house, and had some Washington Apples (the best drink ever). Double Dees ended up leaving, I fell asleep, and Darnell and his boy were left up on the couch.
Saturday morning, Parker comes home to find shoes and fitted caps, glasses and bottles all over the house. He storms in our bedroom, looks around, slams the door, and heads upstairs. He goes in his room and finds Ollie lying, fully clothed, across his bed and he is livid.
Darnell ended up leaving earlier that morning because an old flame was coming into town. It appears that is why he wanted me to host this small gathering at my house. A shame. It also appears a leopard rarely changes his spots.
Of course, this looked very suspicious to Parker. We’ve argued all weekend. Again, I am thinking this is a very small matter and I am wondering why he’s acting so insecure. Sigh. The mess that is my life just got a little more complicated.
8 comments:
mm hmmm.....
First I love "Realize" by Colbie Caillat.
Second, I can relate to this. Arguments over mistrust can make you want to run to being single, reading a book, and drinking a V8. Being that I had to go through this recently. Might I suggest you and Parker sit down and have an adult conversation about this. No screaming or yelling, just understanding. Without trust there is no relationship. Would you call your friends, true friends, if you didn't trust them. It's essential and it speaks highly of how he feels about you. I hope everything works out man.
Thanks bullet... We talked for a long time tonight and we are going out to a bar for drinks and dancing... Its really my fault. If my partner starts to doubt me, then I am probably not conveying how I truly feel well enough. Feeling secure in your relationship is like feeling secure in your self. I don't want some kind of low relationship esteem here... Of course, I'll keep you posted.
Time will heal this. If he wants to talk about it more than you do just understand and let him get it out.
This my friend is a natural reaction when it comes to EXS, especially when ya man went out and then to come home an see clothes on the floor. Y'all have history too but this is a small matter to me and its just something he will have to just get over. Yeah ya boy is insecure lol. No doubt about it. But what man wouldnt feel a lil threatn.
Good Post Corey
what can you do to clean this up a bit? Can you do anything? He seems really bothered by your EXs...
Ooooooo that Darnell !!!
Yea, that Darnell was a bit bogus. But, unfortunately, I'd have to agree with Parker on this one. We'd have been arguing too. When you live with someone, all the rules of the game change. You have to think ahead and strategic. Parker has equal equity in his living space, just as you do - but you can't do things to compromise his comfortability, and likewise.
Just call it a learning lesson. You just gotta be careful moving forward. Now have some great make up sex and fix the boy a pot roast and some mashed potatoes!
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