Today my friend Thomas from North Carolina was in town and after church and brunch, we were headed home and became caught up in a very combative discussion. I really thought about this topic and I already know that what I am going to share is not a commonly held belief and that many readers will not agree but I am going to say this…
Sometimes, when it comes to love, you really do have to settle!
So many single people emphasize that they will not settle for less than their desired expectations. Whether its education, career, or appearance, many of my single friends simply will not accept love from anything less than the ideal.
I believe that the ideal is simply that… ideal. It does not exist in reality.
When I think about love and the loves that matter the most, they were not choices that I made or great catches that I sought out. I did not pick my mother, my sister, or many of my friends. The loves that came to me were happenstance. And I do not love my mother less for not having a college degree or my friends less for not having ideal careers. Consequently, I would not love a lover any less for a deficiency in either of the above areas.
Some key points from the conversation: If love calls, answer. It may not be love at first sight, but it may be the love that is right for you. And finally, who are any of us to question the gifts God may place in our lives?
So what are your thoughts on this? If you have a minute, go ahead and let me have it…
Oh my God! Today, I meet a real-life version of Mary Jones, the mother of Precious from Sapphire’s noted novel Push. It’s just that in this case, Precious is an underachieving sixteen year old male who is currently failing my class.
I have never in my life had a parent conference like this. She screamed at me, insulted me, and called me names. And all of this because her child made the choice to not complete course assignments.
The poor child has a very low average in my class and the cause of the low score is six zeros for unattempted work.
I don’t care about a student’s grades. That is not my concern or something I should be concerned about. I care about a student learning. If a student learns, their grade reflects that learning. However, in this child’s case, as seen in the very low average, learning has not occurred.
As I am sitting in the conference, I could not help but think: Why are you having a conference with a week left in the semester? Why did you act like I have not been calling you all semester to discuss the child’s very low average?
This Conjure (love you, Purveyor) had me sitting in that meeting feeling like Ms. Weiss (Mariah Carey’s character from Precious).
And you know you lying about that welfare!
I don’t think I can legally go into great detail (oh, I swear my education director reads my blog) but know that this Conjure gave me a headache and it is still lingering… although this glass of Marker’s Mark is making me feel slightly better…
The battle to be the next mayor of Atlanta has the city and the kids in an uproar. It has me in an uproar.
I do not live within the city limits of Atlanta. I actually live six miles outside of Atlanta proper in a house located in Dekalb county that will never sale. I cannot vote for mayor so my opinion does not matter but the election results will have far reaching effects on me and everyone who calls Atlanta (proper or metro) home.
At first I thought the idea of Mary Norwood as mayor was promising. I agree with a number of voters that the idea of Atlanta’s first white mayor getting elected in over forty years is refreshing. The election of President Obama proved that race is not a pressing issue when voters are given a qualified candidate. The problem with Mary Norwood is that she is not qualified.
A great article appeared in last week’s Creative Loafing. Read it at http://atlanta.creativeloafing.com/gyrobase/our_pick_for_mayor_kasim_reed/Content?oid=1115613 .
Kasim Reed has worked hard to build connections within the city and state that will prove exponentially beneficial to all within and around Atlanta.
Let me say right now that I am very sorry. I feel like a bad friend for abandoning your for an entire month. I am glad that you read this blog. I value your commentary and your input. It means a lot to me that you take time out of your day to read about my life. It’s just that lately, I have really been going through a lot and I needed some time away from introspection and revelation. But with the help of friends and first family, I am back and ready to blog away.
An update: Hello. Have a seat. I have something to tell you, honey. Parker and I are not together but it does not mean that we do not love you very, very much. We do.
I thought that was funny. We are working on our relationship- I don’t know if that will result in a relationship that is a partnership or a friendship but it will result in two people who love each very much.
I am single. It’s been four months of working it out to realize that it cannot be fixed. I really don’t have much to say other than this is not my decision even though it’s probably my fault. Life is hard and relationships are too. It’s hard to balance work and home and school and love. It’s a war and I lost. And not only did I lose the relationship battle, I’ve lost the battle with the bulge. I have been eating myself into oblivion. The worse I feel, the more I eat. Corey is such a mess. I don’t think I have ever been more of one.
There isn’t anything else to say, really. I am at home, listening to Stevie.
“Over time, I've building my castle of love Just for two, though you never knew you were my reason I've gone much too far for you now to say That I've got to throw my castle away
Over dreams, I have picked out a perfect come true Though you never knew it was of you I've been dreaming The sandman has come from too far away For you to say come back some other day
And though you don't believe that they do They do come true For did my dreams Come true when I looked at you And maybe too, if you would believe You too might be Overjoyed, over loved, over me
Over hearts, I have painfully turned every stone Just to find, I had found what I've searched to discover I've come much too far for me now to find The love that I've sought can never be mine
And though you don't believe that they do They do come true For did my dreams Come true when I looked at you And maybe too, if you would believe You too might be Overjoyed, over loved, over me
And though the odds say improbable What do they know For in romance All true love needs is a chance And maybe with a chance you will find You too like I Overjoyed, over loved, over you, over you”
My mother and I have never been best friends. It’s not as though my mother and I do not love each other. We do. It’s just that we really don’t understand each other.
My mother always wanted a normal son and I was anything but normal. She wanted a boy who romped around, was funny and endearing, and who knew when to keep his mouth shut.
Nope. Not me. I didn’t romp around. I wasn’t very good with hand and eye coordination. I wasn’t funny or endearing. I was… me to put it simply. I belonged behind a book, not a baseball glove. And I never knew when to shut up. And nope, I still haven’t learned according to most people.
I was never the son my mother wanted but she learned to accept me. These are not things we have shared through conversation, mind you. There are some things you just now. And with this, I am now struggling to accept her.
My mother is dating a 36 year old. I am thirty. I know this guy. We went to the same schools. I just don’t know if this is okay, but I have diffantely made her think it was.
My mother accepts my love life so I think its only natural that I accept hers.
And if you ever wondered where I got my penchant for cute, younger guys… yup, I got it from my momma.
Great bloggers inspire other bloggers to write. This weekend, while finally catching up on my blog reading, I ran across a great blog written by YBandDL where he made a number of great points regarding the nature of being a blogger. The post, which can be found at http://youngblackanddownlow.blogspot.com/2009/10/you-think-you-know-but-you-have-no-idea.html, stated that while we may read a blogger’s post daily, we actually don’t know who that blogger may really be as a human being. This really made me think. I agree wholeheartedly with YBandDL.
The reason I write this blog, the reason I started it in the beginning, was to be honest and provide a true window into my life for my friends, both far and near. I want people to know me for who I am and to accept me for who I am. Sometimes this happens. Sometimes it doesn’t.
As the months go by, however, I find that I do pick and chose what I post and what I reveal. Parker doesn’t want me to write about our relationship and I understand and respect that so I don’t. That is a given but in regards to the other areas of my life, I could definitely be more candid.
Some may say that I don’t owe it to anyone to reveal more aspects of my life, but I beg to differ. I owe it to every reader to provide a worthwhile and valuable read. That is my goal and that is my pledge. When you load www.coreyisamess.blogspot.com, it is my hope that you find something that can on days inspire, on others inform, but that can always enrich your blogosphere experience.
With that said, I am happy to bring back 21 Questions. Each reader is encouraged to ask three questions and I will answer each up to question 21, honestly and candidly.
So my ex-lover Michael (www.) confessed that he has been dating a female since June and that they are getting serious. And as is the case whenever I express my opinion with Michael, a disagreement occurred.
I have had sex with women and the actual sex part is usually good. The other aspects, however, were not so good. Oral sex with a woman, however, can be a soppy, floppy mess and I have never been a big fan of big… breasts.
Michael thinks that he should not tell the woman he’s dating that he has lived a homosexual lifestyle. He feels that the past should remain the past and that telling her would only lead to insecurities for her.
I feel that not only does she have a right to know about his past, she has the right to decide whether or not she would want to date a man who has dealt with homosexuality. If she is unable to accept that, Michael should not be able to accept her.
Life can move so fast sometimes, that we forget what living is all about. Tonight, after two weeks of going at break-neck speed, I stopped, had a drink (courversior, tonic, and lime) and cooked dinner (pork chops and greens). I am sitting on my coach, enjoying my dinner and drink, and listening to Norah Jones’ Come Away with Me. God, that CD was amazing. She can never touch this, huh? No can either, huh?
It’s really about learning to just slow down and enjoy the moments that can so readily be passed over. I am learning to slow down. Every now and then. I think I am going to take a couple of days off next week for myself. Maybe just lay in bed and read E. Lynn’s new book or get a massage or catch up on this season of America’s Next Top Model. Hmmm. I wish I didn’t have to go to work tomorrow.
Oh well… things may slow down, but they still go on.
From Sweet Talkback: I think model Tyson Beckford wishes he could take this comment back. Last night on Bravo’s “Watch What Happens Live” with host Andy Cohen, Tyson Beckford got put in the hot seat. Andy asked Tyson “What man would he want to be with?” Tyson responded by saying “Well I’m not gay.” Andy then said “Well I know but if you were, what man would you be with?” Tyson then went for it hook line and sinker and said ” It would have to be Barack Obama, and I would want to be on top” he continued ….”well who did you think I was gonna say? Will Smith?? There is just something about Barack Obama.”
Did you see Wendy Williams try to lure Whitney Houston onto her show? This late queen kills me. Girl, who cares if you were a coke addict? I don’t. I hate this show. I only watched because of the hoopla surrounding her admitted coke addiction and her attacks on Whitney. God, please cancel this show. And speaking of Whitney...
Oh Whitney, Whitney, Whitney, how I have waited for this day...
Whitney has not made a comeback, but I do think a comeback is in progress. When I first purchased Whitney’s album, I was disappointed. I expected a crystal clear voice (for which she is known), a poignant message (I am all about the lyrics), and the return of a megastar. I knew from first listen that I did not get what I expected from this album. Her voice was not crystal clear and her lyrics were not profound. But I have a new CD rule. I have to listen to the CD for two days, nonstop. And I listened to Whitney for two days. And then three. And then four. And I am still listening. The CD is in tray six and it is a constant stay in my car. I expect it will go through the summer and the fall. The CD has truly grown on me. I have to say I really like this album.
Kanye, I have loved your work. I really, really have. I have been a true fan. I am so sad to see you leave. It hurts me that you have decided to end your career so early. You will be missed but you will not be purchased by me ever again.
Are you in love with Trey Songz the way I am in love with Trey Songz? LOL :) indeed!
Labor Day weekend is an event in Atlanta that is an annual trek for black gay men across America. For me, this pride was about fun, fellowship, and a renewed commitment to our community, but on today, an actual break from labor, it is a day to reflect on a year in the life of Black Gay America and on all the things for which I am proud to be gay and black…
Top 5 Reasons I Love Being Gay 1. A lover who makes me look forward to every day and every night 2. Friends who are family… 3. GAY SEX (anal, oral, and deplorable… mmm) 4. Parties and clubs that always deliver a great time (you know the straights just can’t do it like we do) 5. GAY LIFE (fashion, music, dance, and all the fabulousness that is our world)
What reason do you provide for being proud of being gay?
OMFG! This is going to be one loooong year! I have some very low students!
What do you do when an AP student writes an essay analyzing the central question in The Scarlet Letter from the perspective that Nathaniel Hawthorne is a woman?
What do you do when a student refuses to give you his legal name? “Yo, man, you just call me Blaackk! My peoples just call me Blaaackk, man.”
What do you do when you give an assignment to assess student understanding and five kids just look at the paper? And what do you do when you reteach the material to the whole class, only to have the same five students just look at the paper on the retest?
What do you do when an AP student spells corner, curner?
And to think I am getting paid $900 less this year due to furloughs! And if anyone dares tell me that I am just lucky to have a job…
It was not until the next day that I came to realize what I should have realized from the very beginning.
I woke up Sunday, down and out, and went to church and it was while in church that I realized that my life could be so much worse. Regardless of a bad day, I had no right to be down and out. My minister is battling leukemia and will have a stem cell transplant. He’ll be out for at least six months. Again, things could be so much worse. My grandmother is successfully battling her cancer and feels better. I have a house to live in and a boyfriend to help me make it a home. I have friends to support me and a career that I am passionate about. And that little voice was trying to remind me of that all along…
Inside of each of us is that same little voice and too often, many- just like me- ignore it. When I listened to the voice (taking money out of my account earlier in that day, checking the account before running up a tab), I was doing what God wanted me to do. When I ignored the voice, I was ignoring God’s voice in me. Simple really.
We all have those days that just really can be unbelievably bad, but Saturday has to go down as one of my worst days of 2009.
The day started with my alarm not going off. I woke up at 7:46 and had an 8:00 class. (I did blog about being an adjunct at a local college, right? If not, I do that two days a week…) Oddly enough, last week was our first class and the majority of the students discussed how they hate late professors. The only thing that woke me up was some little voice inside of me that said, “Corey look at the clock.”
I made it to class, by a true miracle, at 8:10 and luckily the main student who complains on late instructors was absent.
Saturday evening, Parker and I went running around Stone Mountain. We were going to also hike up the mountain, but it started raining. Our workout was cut short.
Saturday night, I arranged for some friends to meet at Joe’s on Juniper for drinks and to celebrate Parker’s new internship. Uncle Mallory, however, sent a text instructing everyone to meet at Loca Luna instead. So we go there, arrive at 10, and on one else is there except for Parker and me. I go to the bar and get a mojito (my absolute FAVORITE drink) and a voice tells me to check my account balance. I do so to find that my account is under $200!
I call my bank to find out that I made massive purchases in Meridia, Mexico and Daoukro, Ivory Coast. Of course I have never heard of either of these citites, let alone visited them. I am told that I cannot do anything about these pending charges until Monday. Luckily, a little voice told me to take out $100 from the bank after I left class.
By the time everyone finally arrives at Loca Luna (except for Uncle Mallory, who oddly never showed), our table is gone and the wait is over an hour. We decide to just go to Joe’s on Juniper (my original suggestion to Fe Fe earlier that day).
We head to Joe’s and Parker and I get caught in the Paul McCartney Go Green Concert Traffic. A ten minute drive took us almost an hour. By the time we finally arrive, I am so perturbed, I am no longer hungry.
Opening of Invisible Life: “There is something poetic about falling in love. The tingling sensation lingers like the lyrical words of a Langston Hughes poem. There is something romantic about the changing of seasons. A romance reminiscent of an unending summer, or one as fleeting as spring and fall. Whenever I think back on the loves of my life, I am often reminded of the seasons. There are four seasons. I have been in love four times.”
My heart is heavy and I am remiss at the passing of E. Lynn Harris. Through his writings- the rich, varied and conflicted characters, the fast paced plots- I learned more about myself than any “American classic” could ever reveal.
Growing up in rural Mississippi provided few opportunities for exposure to black gay men. It was through Raymond and Kyle and Basil that I was able to see that tomorrow would be better than today. It was the first kiss the Raymond and Kevin shared that let me know that I was not alone. Whenever E. Lynn Harris released a new book, I was always in Barnes and Nobles on the release day, member card in hand, ready to purchase.
I grieved when Kyle died and I grieve now.
There is already a void in canon of black literature and that void just grew immensely. There are few black writers of note contributing to the cannon of American Literature. E. Lynn Harris carried the torch that James Baldwin lit. Raymond taught me professionalism and Basil taught me passion. Zurich taught me that it was alright to love me for me and Yancy taught me to let go of the past so that I could embrace the future.
My heart is heavy.
Dare I say that E. Lynn Harris was the most well-known black gay man in the United States?
While Keith Boykin’s activism is more recognized within the black gay community and within the nation’s intellectual community, it is E. Lynn Harris’s name that echoes in beauty salons around the nation during the week one of his newest releases hit book shelves.
Today, as I remember this author, this torch-bearer, I cannot help but wonder who will pick up his torch and carry it? I cannot help but wonder if we will become invisible once more.
Author E. Lynn Harris has died while on a west coast book tour, Arkansas Sports reports:
"Harris, a best-seller whose work dealt with black, gay culture and delved into athletics, was a passionate Razorbacks fan. For the past eight semesters, Harris served as a 'visiting' professor for the English department...Most recently, Harris' wrote his 11th novel, 'Basketball Jones', which involved an NBA player and the player's gay lover. Before 'Basketball Jones,' Harris penned 'Just Too Good To Be True,' a novel detailing the life of Heisman Trophy candidate Brady Manning. Harris' novel focused on the pressures surrounding Manning and the support system the star athlete leaned on to help him through dark and troubling times."
There are no further details about the cause of death, though the Arkansas Times reported hearing the author suffered a "serious health setback" earlier today.
The Arkansas Sports site did not name a source. I will publish any updates that come in here.
Harris was the author of 12 novels, a memoir, and many stories.
BOSTON – Police responding to a call about "two black males" breaking into a home near Harvard University ended up arresting the man who lives there — Henry Louis Gates Jr., the nation's pre-eminent black scholar.
Gates had forced his way through the front door because it was jammed, his lawyer said. Colleagues call the arrest last Thursday afternoon a clear case of racial profiling.
Cambridge police say they responded to the well-maintained two-story home after a woman reported seeing "two black males with backpacks on the porch," with one "wedging his shoulder into the door as if he was trying to force entry."
By the time police arrived, Gates was already inside. Police say he refused to come outside to speak with an officer, who told him he was investigating a report of a break-in.
"Why, because I'm a black man in America?" Gates said, according to a police report.
Gates — the director of Harvard's W.E.B. Du Bois Institute for African and African American Research — initially refused to show the officer his identification, but then gave him a Harvard University ID card, according to police.
"Gates continued to yell at me, accusing me of racial bias and continued to tell me that I had not heard the last of him," the officer wrote.
He was arrested on a disorderly conduct charge after police said he "exhibited loud and tumultuous behavior." He was released later that day on his own recognizance. An arraignment was scheduled for Aug. 26. Police refused to comment on the arrest Monday.
Gates, 58, also refused to speak publicly Monday, referring calls to his attorney, fellow Harvard scholar Charles Ogletree.
Ogletree said Gates gave the officer his driver's license and Harvard identification after being asked to prove he was a Harvard professor and lived at the home, but became upset when the officer continued to question him.
"He was shocked to find himself being questioned and shocked that the conversation continued after he showed his identification," Ogletree said.
Ogletree declined to say whether he believed the incident was racially motivated, saying "I think the incident speaks for itself."
Some of Gates' African-American colleagues say the arrest is part of a pattern of racial profiling in Cambridge.
Allen Counter, who has taught neuroscience at Harvard for 25 years, said he was stopped on campus by two Harvard police officers in 2004 after being mistaken for a robbery suspect. They threatened to arrest him when he could not produce identification.
"We do not believe that this arrest would have happened if professor Gates was white," Counter said. "It really has been very unsettling for African-Americans throughout Harvard and throughout Cambridge that this happened."
The Rev. Al Sharpton is vowing to attend Gates' arraignment.
"This arrest is indicative of at best police abuse of power or at worst the highest example of racial profiling I have seen," Sharpton said. "I have heard of driving while black and even shopping while black but now even going to your own home while black is a new low in police community affairs."
Ogletree said Gates had returned from a trip to China on Thursday with a driver, when he found his front door jammed. He went through the back door into the home — which he leases from Harvard — shut off an alarm and worked with the driver to get the door open. The driver left, and Gates was on the phone with the property's management company when police first arrived.
Ogletree also disputed the claim that Gates, who was wearing slacks and a polo shirt and carrying a cane, was yelling at the officer.
"He has an infection that has impacted his breathing since he came back from China, so he's been in a very delicate physical state," Ogletree said.
Lawrence D. Bobo, the W.E.B Du Bois Professor of the Social Sciences at Harvard, said he met with Gates at the police station and described his colleague as feeling humiliated and "emotionally devastated."
"It's just deeply disappointing but also a pointed reminder that there are serious problems that we have to wrestle with," he said.
Bobo said he hoped Cambridge police would drop the charges and called on the department to use the incident to review training and screening procedures it has in place.
The Middlesex district attorney's office said it could not do so until after Gates' arraignment. The woman who reported the apparent break-in did not return a message Monday.
Gates joined the Harvard faculty in 1991 and holds one of 20 prestigious "university professors" positions at the school. He also was host of "African American Lives," a PBS show about the family histories of prominent U.S. blacks, and was named by Time magazine as one of the 25 most influential Americans in 1997.
"I was obviously very concerned when I learned on Thursday about the incident," Harvard president Drew Gilpin Faust said in a statement. "He and I spoke directly and I have asked him to keep me apprised."
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince was not a good movie. I am an admitted Harry Potter fan. I have read all of the books and Half Blood Prince was my favorite! I love Snape and Hermione and Ron and Luna and this book really delivered. I wish this movie would have done the same. So much of the nuisance and character building was missed from the film.
Bruno was a great movie! I laughed out loud, kicked the chair in front of me, and screamed several times.
Okay, first of all, I would like to tell all readers that there are real housewives in Atlanta with SICK amounts of money. The ladies on Bravo’s television show are clearly middle-middle class chicks. With that in mind, I watch the program to laugh at the antics and hysterics of these classless women. I am a Sheree fan. And while most of the girls love Miss Ne Ne, I hate her! Consequently, I am so looking forward to Kandi from Exscape being added to the mix to let this former stripper have it!
One of the funniest hours of television this summer is this week’s Kathy Griffin’s Life on the D-List. She is attempting to see if humor is color blind and attempts to be down with the black community. Catch it on a repeat if you have missed it.
And if you missed it, our sister Reco (Memphis native, Kappa Alpha Psi member, and Atlanta resident) was kicked off Bravo’s whack ass fashion show. How dare they allow Miss Anna and those rags she calls couture continue over Reco? I cannot wait until August 20! Please Heidi, come show these girls how it’s done…
DeKalb teacher arrested fondling student in parking lot By Megan Matteucci
Police say they arrested a Stone Mountain Middle School teacher Thursday – moments before he was about to have sex with a 15-year-old student.
Charles Thomas McClendon, 29, is now being held in the Clayton County jail, charged with child molestation and enticing a child for indecent purposes.
A Jonesboro Police officer was patrolling when he spotted two people in the back seat of a pickup truck, parked behind the El Tarasco restaurant around 2:30 a.m. Thursday, Jonesboro Major Tim Jessup said.
As the officer pulled up, McClendon tossed a condom, jumped out of the truck and pulled on his pants, police said. The girl fumbled around the truck and put her clothes back on, Jessup said.
McClendon was in the act of fondling the girl, according to an arrest warrant filed in Clayton County Magistrate Court Thursday.
Officers intervened as McClendon was putting on a condom, according to the warrant. “If Sgt. [Eric] Bradshaw came five minutes later, they would have been in the act,” Jessup said.
Once McClendon realized his visitor was the police, he tried to get back in his truck and drive off, Jessup said. But officers stopped him. McClendon, of Decatur, initially told police the student was his girlfriend, but later admitted she attended the school where he teaches. Officers identified the school as Stone Mountain Middle School.
“I just got back in town and went to pick up my girlfriend. Then we came her to have sex. I’m sorry,” McClendon told the officer. The teacher’s statements are included in a police report.
The girl, who first lied about her age, told police McClendon was her boyfriend. She later told police that McClendon was her tutor at Stone Mountain Middle last year, Jessup said.
This past week was a beast. However, all was well that ended well. Here’s an update:
I took a really important test and score a 194 out of 200. The average score is 155. I studied.
I have been saving money only to turn around and lose it. I saved around four-hundred dollars last month but had to repair the upstairs central heating and air unit. Then I found out I have to get an editor to format my dissertation and a statistician to fix my data. That will cost $2100 over the final five months of my higher education debacle. Jesus is Lord!
I feel so slighted. This guy, who has regular parties, hosted a party last night and charged five dollars to get into his house (classy, huh…?). I paid my five dollars but Douglas, who rode with me, did not have to pay. Then, when I get inside, I found out no one else in the “First Family” had to pay either. F—in B—h!
I am so swamped with work. And it’s the summer. And I am a teacher. I am supposed to be chillaxin, not swimming in a sea of work. I am an adjunct at a local college and I take on additional courses each summer and I am FINALLY finishing my dissertation. Oh well. I will do what I have to do. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
I wish I could get alerted when people update their blog via phone. How can I make that happen?
I am excited about seeing Jasmine Guy’s “For Color Girl’s Who Have Considered Suicide.” She is directing this play, starring Nicole Ari Parker and a few other recognizable names. I am trying to get a ticket for Tuesday’s preview show.
Atlanta International Fashion Week is coming up. It is usually worth a coin. Check it out at http://www.atlantaintlfashionweek.com.
The first family is getting ready for our annual family reunion in Gatlinburg. It’s not really a family reunion, per se, but we went last year for whitewater rafting and had a blast and we are doing it again this year. I anticipate an annual trip. We only pay $100 to go and when we go, we get our life!
Before exploring this upcoming weekend, I have to admit that last weekend was quite an adventure.
My friend and fellow blogger, Turn me up a lil (Thad) and I made a commitment to hang out more. He was off this weekend and we met up for lunch to discuss his dating life (the Italian) and his professional life (choices to pursue which advance degree).
Thad is an amazing guy. He has swag and a pedigree.
So it was up to me where we went and I decided on Mrs. Annes.
Mrs. Anne’s Snack Shop is an Atlanta trademark. Since Thad has not been in the ATL a year, I figured he had to true Mrs. Anne’s at least once. Home of the famous Ghettoburger, Mrs. Anne’s was named the number three best burger in the United States one year by a program on Food Network and I think going to Mrs. Anne’s in an Atlanta “Rite of Passage.” Since Thad has been in Atlanta less than a year, I felt like I owed him this burger.
Well, we got the true Mrs. Anne’s experience.
The burger shack has only two workers…. Mrs. Anne and her son. She only serves eight people at one time. You cannot order in advance. You sign a list and wait to be called.
We signed the list and there was a group of eight being served and six people waiting. We thought we were pretty lucky. We could handle waiting forty five minutes (which is how long you wait to order and eat ONCE you make it inside).
So we sit outside, in the 100 degree heat, and wait. On cement benches. We talk and catch up and grow hungrier and hungrier.
Finally, the eight customers being served exit and the next group lines up. Two fat negroes (a CONGORILLA and his CONGORILLAETTE) jump up and are the first in line. They came right after us. And I’ll be damned if they were not seated.
I got hotter than wolf pu%$y! Thad told me I should have said something and looked as though he would hit me. He was really hungry.
We sat back down, on our cement bench, and watched those fat a##es eat our BURGERS! For forty five additional minutes, with our stomachs churning, we waited.
Finally, they finished and we entered. Thad said he was so hungry he didn’t even want to eat anymore. That is the worst hunger. But then the seasoned fried came and we ate. And then the burgers came, and we ate.
Thad said the burger was worth the wait and that he was pissed I had taken him there because he would have to come back and do the whole thing over again.
Vibe magazine ends publication By Alexis Stevens The Atlanta Journal-Constitution Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Vibe, the music magazine founded in 1993 by legendary producer Quincy Jones, is shutting its doors, Editor Danyel Smith told the staff Tuesday.
“We were assigning and editing a Michael Jackson tribute issue when we got the news,” Smith wrote in a memo obtained by Atlanta Journal-Constitution. The magazine blames its failure on the sagging economy and the collapse of print advertising, a common woe of other print journalism products, according to Steve Aaron, former CEO of VIBE Media Group.
“There are very few magazines with the richness of history and breadth of talented visionaries who created the powerful lens in which VIBE viewed and shaped urban music and culture,” Aaron wrote in a separate memo to staff members. Revenue growth from its web site, www.vibe.com, was not enough to offset the magazine’s losses, Aaron said.
“It’s a sad day for music, for hip hop in particular, and for the millions of readers and users who have loved and who continue to love the VIBE brand,” Smith said.
Yawn… This year’s awards were an official mess. The absolute worst awards ever. Girl, I could have watched Sookie Stackhouse and Lafayette instead! Blah.
But some random thoughts…
Keri Hilson gave the kids Grease, a la Olivia Newton John.
Tyra Banks hair was a mess. I tried to rationalize the disaster and said maybe she wanted her weave to match her hips.
Beyonce, once again, cheated her fans. Looking like the bride of Neptune, God of the Sea, she sang Ava Maria. Halo would have been so appropriate but I can just see this chick being like, I already practiced Ava Maria so that’s what I am going to do…
The greatest highlights of the night, however, were the tweets- I truly laughed aloud throughout the program.
Best Tweets of the Night… Keith Jones: Did no one tell the extremely homophobic Mary Mary they were on stage with a lesbian? Guess not…
JG Bey (Beyonce) sounds good. I love it… but has she abandonded pants?
Dees: BET should have died and MJ should have done a tribute to them.
Kendal B Is Deborah Lee considered a Cougar or a Mountain Lion?
PatrickIanPolk How many BET employees does it take to screw up a tribute? Apparently hundreds…
I don't know where I have been but I just saw the picture of College Hill Atlanta's Dorian and just heard the hilarious (yet ridiculously inflammatory) interview with Wendy Williams' pet Charlemange. Check it out at http://www.zshare.net/audio/61708385cea44051/.
Also, I just heard about the Perez Hilton/Will i am uproar. Hilton's response was ROTF funny!
I have attached a copy of the Twitter messages-
perezhilton: oh my god you guys
perezhilton: oh. muh. GUH. i’ve been BRUTALLY SAVAGED. by SAVAGES.
perezhilton: will.i.am is a THUG and he HIT me. in my EYE.
perezhilton: i can see the booboo right now in one of the many mirrors i carry around with me at all times to make sure that the shaved lines and/or highlights in my hair remain subtle and artful and don’t have the effect of making me look like an angry fat woman who scrapbooks to distract herself from her sad life!
iamtherealwill @perezhilton: man, stfu. i just followed you out of the club to see if you’d want some of these Target coupons we got. 20% off smedium t-shirts and innocuous hooks! boom boom pow!
perezhilton: GET AWAY FROM ME WILL.I.AM! YOU’RE A THUG AND YOU DREW BLOOD FROM MY FACE WITH YOUR MANAGER’S HAND! perezhilton in all my years of doing this, drawing semen dots on people’s faces has never resulted in my catching an eye jammie!
iamtherealwill @perezhilton: that’s not an eye jammie, man. what is this, Wreckx-N-Effect and Q-Tip in ’92? My manager was just swatting a fly away.
fergilicious @iamtherealwill: awwwww snap! u told him maing!
fergilicious @prerezhilton: u got LUMPED UP, ni**a!
perezhilton @fergilicious: …huh?
fergilcious: LMBAO!
iamtherealwill @fergilcious: quiet down, baby. remember what daddy said about being a good white girl.
fergilicious: *roger rabbits*
iamtherealwill @perezhilton: tell ‘em what you called me, man.
perezhilton @iamtherealwill: what?! i called you a faggot. so? i can DO that! CEASELESSLY BAITING PEOPLE WITH BORDERLINE LIBELOUS MATERIAL IS NOT GROUNDS FOR VIOLENCE. IT’S JUST SILLINESS! I’M HARMLESS AND CATTY AND SILLY AND HILARIOUS AND MY SCHTICK NEVER GETS OLD!
iamtherealwill @perezhilton: you’re lucky my man Taboo ain’t jump in that ass. right, Taboo?
taboo …
perezhilton: YOU SHUT UP TOO TABOO OR I’LL DRAW SEMEN DOTS ON YOUR FACE NEXT!
taboo: *does Easter Island statue impression*
iamtherealwill @perezhilton: Yeah son! Black Eyed Peas is too strong to be divided by your fuckery!
apldeap: That’s right fam! Apl de Ap is in the building!
SteveJobs *sends apl de ap cease & desist letter*
apldeap Scratch that! Non-Trademarked Personal Computr de Comp is in the building!
perezhilton someone call the police! i don’t know what else to do or how to get in touch with them! sent from Twitterberry, which if you weren’t too busy overreacting to notice is only available on a PHONE
fergilicious @perezhilton don’t bother! 911 is a JOKE, ni**a!
iamtherealwill @fergilicious seriously, pump the brakes for a second.
fergilicious @iamtherealwill whateva man.
fergilicious *does a b-girl pose*
fergilicious *slathers on shoe polish*
perezhilton @iamtherealwill Back off, Will.I.Am! I have 10 million people who read my site every day and are calling the police right now! especially since I already called the police and they didn’t really seem to care!
perezhilton I’m a music mogul and I support singers so fantastic and powerful you’ve never heard of them! And they’re all gonna be mad and boycott you! And I’m gonna keep hanging around them because I was unpopular in high school and now I exact my revenge via crude photoillustration!
perezhilton I mean, BECAUSE THEY LIKE ME FOR WHO I AM!
perezhilton *weeps gravy*
iamtherealwill @perezhilton that’s cool–mad people got my back too. i work with stars. stars! right, mike?
MJKingofPop whisper
iamtherealwill @MJKingofPop Really, man? That’s the best you can do?
MJKingofPop thank you i love you all god bless you don’t forget to tell your nephews i’m having a slumber party
iamtherealwill Sigh. Anyone else not out there not sufficiently repulsed by my sanctimonious and inane post-racial party anthems to vouch for me? I was on CNN, people! My hologram is the voice of the youth!
hologramwill Fuck yeah I am! I can talk about everything from voting for Obama to fixing the economy to the vagaries of cap-and-trade energy regulation! Except for the second one! And also the third one! Suck it, Rick Sanchez!
officialTila @iamtherealwill I got your back, baby! Talented people like us have to stick together, am I right?
officialTila *tries to turn head, topples over*
iamtherealwill @officialTila sure, why not.
iamdiddy @iamtherealwill I got ya back will! musical visionaries and cultural icons and future leaders gotta stick together too am i right? SELF-IMPORTANT BLOWHARDS WHO CONTRIBUTE NOTHING AT ALL TO THE NATIONAL CONVERSATION BUT CONSISTENTLY OVERSTATE OUR OWN SIGNIFICANCE LET’S GO!!!
WyclefJean @iamtherealwill You know I’m there for yoooooooooou! No one else I know has the stones to cross over and be thoroughly mediocre in so many other genres of music! THE WORLD IS MORE THAN HIP-HOP, PEOPLE!
WyclefJean *trips and crushes Canibus’ career*
officialTila you guys you guys you guys! will.i.am is in trouble! and for once it’s not the kind of trouble that my racquetball-hard fake breasts can float him out of!
MJKingofPop yikes breasts i’m outta here!
fergilicious Who said breasts? This sister got some fine breast lumps and humps her damn self! BLACKETY BLACK Y’ALL!
"I am very interested in human perversions. What are your thoughts on these sexual aberrations? What’s the quirkest, freakest, most perverse sexual deviation you’ve heard of?
I honestly heard my greatest perversity today. Obie said a guy he knows likes to give head while the guy he’s with is taking a dump. Ew…"
A year later, I ask again... share your sexual deviations and fetishes...
